Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
His mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.
Definition of a teenager? God's punishment, for enjoying sex.
Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel because those that matter, don't mind; and those that mind, don't matter!
And As You Slide Down that Banister of Life You Should Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
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Morning Funnies
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Birthdays on March19th 2014
1860 - William
Jennings Bryan
1921 - Tommy
Cooper
1891 - Earl Warren
1888 - Josef
Albers
1748 - Elias Hicks
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Todays Funnies
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Blast from the Past
1860 - William Jennings Bryan
1921 - Tommy Cooper
1891 - Earl Warren
1888 - Josef Albers
1748 - Elias Hicks
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/#suwB3GPuTM0sMu0A.99
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Afternoon Funnies
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Today in History
Lead Story
War
in Iraq begins, 2003
American Revolution
Thomas
McKean is born, 1734
Automotive
Civil War
Cold War
Crime
Disaster
Peruvian
town wiped out, 1971
General Interest
DeMille
wins Oscar, 1953
Hollywood
Literary
Music
Old West
Presidential
Sports
Vietnam War
World War I
First U.S. air-combat mission begins, 1916
World War II
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