funny headlines

1.	Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2.	Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
3.	Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
4.	Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
5.	Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
6.	Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
7.	Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
8.	Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9.	Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10.	Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11.	Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12.	Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13.	Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14.	Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15.	Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16.	Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17.	Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18.	If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19.	Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20.	New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  **************************************************** Weekend Pic Dump And now you know......   Birthdays on February 11th 1969 - Jennifer Aniston 1962 - Sheryl Crow 1953 - Jeb Bush 1921 - Eva Gabor 1847 - Thomas A. Edison ********************************************** Funny cards ************************************************ Blast from the Past  **************************************************** Funny Headlines, etc.....  ***************************************************** Todays Quote Birthday Girl Jennifer Aniston A relationship isn't going to make me survive. It's the cherry on top. Jennifer Aniston Don't rely on men but don't shun them either. Jennifer Aniston I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God- never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things. It's a pain in the ass. Jennifer Aniston I always say don't make plans, make options. Jennifer Aniston I am trying to think of the last time that I just said, 'What the hell!' and did something crazy. Jennifer Aniston I couldn't have found a better man than Brad. He still opens doors for me and brings me flowers. He's the sweetest goofball on the planet. Jennifer Aniston I don't get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies. Jennifer Aniston I don't have a religion. I believe in a God. I don't know what it looks like but it's MY god. My own interpretation of the supernatural. Jennifer Aniston I don't know what it means to be a sex symbol. When I look myself on a magazine cover I don't see it as me, but as someone painted, fluffed, puffed and done up. Jennifer Aniston I guess we'd be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well. Jennifer Aniston I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. Jennifer Aniston I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special. Jennifer Aniston I was told to avoid the business all together because of the rejection. People would say to me, 'Don't you want to have a normal job and a normal family?' I guess that would be good advice for some people, but I wanted to act. Jennifer Aniston I've gone for each type: the rough guy; the nerdy, sweet, lovable guy; and the slick guy. I don't really have a type. Men in general are a good thing. Jennifer Aniston If somebody ever wished to be me for a day, they'd be the most pissed-off person once they got here. They would be, like, in hell. Jennifer Aniston In a man, I look for a friend, someone who's equal, with whom I'm comfortable. Jennifer Aniston Look I eat really well and I work out, but I also indulge when I want to. I don't starve myself in an extremist way. You're not taking away my coffee or my dairy or my glass of wine because I'd be devastated. Jennifer Aniston Nobody thinks of themselves as sexy, really. Some days you go, 'Hey, I'm not going too bad today.' But if you try and be sexy, you'll never be sexy. Jennifer Aniston Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, I think it all kinda falls into place. Jennifer Aniston Really try to follow what it is that you want to do and what your heart is telling you to do. Jennifer Aniston All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site are understood to be in the public domain. If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them, please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com