TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables
. __________________________________________
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables
. __________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I love this child) ____________________________________________
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I love this child) ____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O
. __________________________________
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O
. __________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
__________________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE SMILE...
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
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Morning Pic Dump
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Birthdays on December 17th
1770 - Ludwig van Beethoven
1891 - Hu Shih
1973 - Paula Radcliffe
1807 - John Greenleaf Whittier
1929 - William Safire
1891 - Hu Shih
1973 - Paula Radcliffe
1807 - John Greenleaf Whittier
1929 - William Safire
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Afternoon Funnies
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This Day in History
- First airplane flies, 1903
- American Revolution
- France formally recognizes the United States, 1777
- Automotive
- Stuntman Stan Barrett breaks the sound barrier, 1979
- Civil War
- Grant expels Jews from his military district, 1862
- Cold War
- Yeltsin supporters announce Soviet Union will cease to exist by New Year's Eve, 1991
- Crime
- "Operation Iceman" nabs the culprit, 1986
- Disaster
- Circus catches fire in Brazil, 1961
- General Interest
- U.S. approves end to internment of Japanese Americans, 1944
- "Squeaky" Fromme sentenced to life, 1975
- Aristide wins Haiti's first free election, 1990
- Peruvian rebels seize Japanese ambassador's home, 1996
- Kim Jong Il, Leader of North Korea, Dies, 2011
- Hollywood
- Third and final Lord of the Rings movie opens, 2003
- Literary
- A Christmas Carol is published, 1843
- Music
- A federal court puts its stamp on hip-hop, 1991
- Old West
- "Silver Dollar" Tabor born in Denver, 1889
- Presidential
- Grant expels Jews from Tennessee, Kentucky and Mississippi, 1862
- Sports
- Terrell Owens makes record-breaking 20 catches, 2000
- Vietnam War
- Cambodian forces under heavy pressure, 1971
- World War I
- Ford Madox Ford is born, 1873
- World War II
- Commander at Pearl Harbor canned, 1941
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