Top Cop Comments

These 16 Police Comments 

were taken off actual police 

car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey mous a cat or a dog?

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven ."

12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." 

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Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on October 12th

1932 - Dick Gregory
1968 - Hugh Jackman
1935 - Luciano Pavarotti
1992 - Josh Hutcherson
1910 - Robert Fitzgerald

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Todays Pic Dump

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Afternoon Funnies

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Todays Quote

Birthday Boy

Hugh Jackman

Share241

Becoming a father, I think it inevitably changes your perspective of life. I don't get nearly enough sleep. And the simplest things in life are completely satisfying. I find you don't have to do as much, like you don't go on as many outings.
Hugh Jackman

Americans are the most generous country on the planet. I've worked in Europe, I've worked in Australia. There is no where else where you get absolutely no attitude for being a foreigner. If you do your job well, they embrace you.
Hugh Jackman

I'm not doing Bond.
Hugh Jackman

Now I meet people with full-color Wolverine tattoos on their backs. Thank God I did okay, because I think if I hadn't, they'd spit on me in the street.
Hugh Jackman

Being on Broadway is the modern equivalent of being a monk. I sleep a lot, eat a lot, and rest a lot.
Hugh Jackman

I have a terrific marriage, but unlike a lot of relationships where they ebb and flow, no matter what happens you fall deeper and deeper in love every day. It's kind of the best thing that can happen to you. It's thrilling.
Hugh Jackman

I have a wife and a son, but the gay rumors have started. I guess it's a sign that I'm moving up the ladder.
Hugh Jackman

I just love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids' parties for about three years.
Hugh Jackman

I'm a big goofball, you know. Don't tell anyone that, but I'm a big goofball. In Australia we call it a dag.
Hugh Jackman

I'm not a kid. You don't get in this business for anonymity. It's not like I have posters of myself on the wall, but at the same time, I'm kind of ready for a little bit of it, but I worry for my little one, and my family - their privacy. That's what I'm more protective of.
Hugh Jackman

My agent said to me five years ago, 'Hugh, I can see one day you... if I had to plan a goal for you, it's for you to have the kind of career that Sinatra had.'
Hugh Jackman

Sometimes you have to go places with characters and emotions within yourself you don't want to do, but you have a duty to the story and as a storyteller to do it.
Hugh Jackman

I'm an actor who believes we all have triggers to any stage of emotion. It's not always easy to find but it's still there.
Hugh Jackman

It dawned on me that acting was what I wanted to do with my life. Nothing had ever touched my heart like acting did.
Hugh Jackman

My father is a real idealist, and he's all about learning. If I asked for a pair of Nikes growing up, it was just a resounding 'No.' But if I asked for a saxophone, one would appear and next day and I'd be signed up for lessons. So anything to do with education or learning, my father would spare no expense.
Hugh Jackman

My friends say, 'Man you're going to have kids sleeping on pillowcases with your face on it! You're going to be on toothbrushes and magnets and stuff.' I guess now that I'm a dad, I'm thrilled about that.
Hugh Jackman

There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me.
Hugh Jackman

We feel that there are so many kids who need adopting. We thought we'd do it after having a couple of our own, but we just changed our mind.
Hugh Jackman

When you're playing an icon like Wolverine, it's sometimes better to be someone that nobody knows because they don't know what to expect. I don't mind a little bit of anonymity; it helps on the subway.
Hugh Jackman

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