A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH
1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .
that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog .. . ..
but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . .
you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining . . .
as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .
when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of
the dark . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important . . .
because they demonstrate how many people a company can
operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions . . .
you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..
and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy
(or girl) . . .. who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins . . ..
the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m. . .. like, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .
when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where . . ..
'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . .
there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .
not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .
we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness .. . ..
but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than
in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .
you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . .. and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow .. . ..
but it's still a gift.
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Morning Pic Dump
Birthdays on Sept. 5th
1946 - Freddie Mercury
1950 - Cathy Guisewite
1929 - Bob Newhart
1936 - Jonathan Kozol
1969 - Dweezil Zappa
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Todays Pic Dump
Blast from the Past
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Afternoon Funnies
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This day in history
- Lead Story
- Sam Houston elected as president of Texas , 1836
- American Revolution
- First session of Continental Congress convenes, 1774
- Automotive
- The New York Times gives "On the Road" a rave review, 1957
- Civil War
- U.S. foreign minister threatens the British over ships, 1863
- Cold War
- Pasternak's Dr. Zhivago appears in the United States, 1958
- Crime
- Arab terrorists take Israeli hostages at the Olympics, 1972
- Disaster
- Londoners desperately attempt to halt fire, 1666
- General Interest
- First Continental Congress convenes, 1774
- Crazy Horse killed, 1877
- Russo-Japanese peace treaty signed, 1905
- Battle of the Marne begins, 1914
- Ford assassination attempt thwarted, 1975
- Hollywood
- Katie Couric makes network anchor debut, 2005
- Literary
- On the Road is published, 1957
- Music
- "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals tops the U.S. pop charts, 1964
- Old West
- Outlaw Jesse James is born in Missouri, 1847
- Presidential
- Gerald Ford survives first assassination attempt, 1975
- Sports
- Massacre begins at Munich Olympics, 1972
- Vietnam War
- Calley charged for My Lai massacre, 1969
- U.S. forces launch last major American operation of the war, 1970
- World War I
- Joffre gives order to attack at the Marne , 1914
- World War II
- U.S. forces seize more of New Guinea, 1943
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