Things we learn from movies
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
A priest, a rabbi and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: “The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before it’s Too Late!” As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the other two and asks, “Do you think the sign should just say: ‘Bridge Out’?”
1948 - Donna Karan
1895 - Bud Abbott
1890 - Groucho Marx
1869 - Mohandas Gandhi
1851 - Ferdinand Foch
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
THE END IS NEAR
A priest, a rabbi and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: “The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before it’s Too Late!” As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the other two and asks, “Do you think the sign should just say: ‘Bridge Out’?”
Weekend Pic Dump
Todays Birthdays
1948 - Donna Karan
1895 - Bud Abbott
1890 - Groucho Marx
1869 - Mohandas Gandhi
1851 - Ferdinand Foch
And Chris LeDoux
Sunday Morning Comics
Daily Random Facts....
Blast From the Past
Today in History
Hollywood icon Rock Hudson dies of AIDS, 1985
American Revolution
Benedict accomplice hanged, 1780
Automotive
Checkered flag waves at first postwar U.S. road race in Watkins Glen, New York, 1948
Civil War
Confederates score victory at the Battle of Saltville, 1864
Cold War
The Cold War comes to Africa, as Guinea gains its independence, 1958
Crime
Gunman kills five students at Amish school, 2006
Disaster
Hurricane devastates Haiti, 1963
General Interest
British spy executed in Arnold affair, 1780
Darwin returns to England, 1836
Warsaw Uprising ends, 1944
Thurgood Marshall sworn in, 1967
Hollywood
Rock Hudson dies of AIDS, 1985
Literary
Wallace Stevens is born, 1879
Music
Rod Stewart earns his first #1 hit with "Maggie May", 1971
Old West
First shots of the Texas Revolution fired in the Battle of Gonzales, 1835
Presidential
Woodrow Wilson suffers a stroke, 1919
Sports
Gibson strikes out 17 in World Series, 1968
Vietnam War
Soviets report that Russian military personnel have come under fire, 1966
Aerial offensive against North Vietnam continues, 1967
World War I
U.S President Woodrow Wilson suffers massive stroke, 1919
World War II
Operation Typhoon is launched, 1941
People and their notes...
Todays Quotes
Chris LeDoux
I can remember sittin' in a cafe when I first started in rodeo, and waitin' until somebody got done so I could finish what they left.
Chris LeDoux
Chris LeDoux
I don't know what makes a guy want to write songs and sing, but if you've got a message, you want to get it across. When I come up with an idea about the way I feel, I can really state it strongly in a song.
Chris LeDoux
Chris LeDoux
Hey Lester ... you might want to re-size the cartoons from the Sunday Comics as the final panel(s) are impossible to read under the ads on the right of the blog. Just an FYI ... but maybe it's just my computer and screen. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. I previewed it before I posted it and it was fine. Don't know why it went crazy. Thanx for letting me know
ReplyDelete