Old Guys Rule: Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!”
4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, motion sickness!”
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.

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Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on September 4th

1968 - Mike Piazza
1918 - Paul Harvey
1905 - Mary Renault
1896 - Antonin Artaud
1846 - Daniel Burnham

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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Todays Quote

Birthday Boy
Mike Piazza

I feel pretty good. My body actually looks like an old banana, but it's fine.
Mike Piazza

I have gone from a player who thought he would spend his whole career with one organization to a player who's been with three organizations in a week. It's like rotisserie baseball.
Mike Piazza

Yes, hard is good. When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time on my knees playing with balls. I guess it was only natural that I became a catcher.
Mike Piazza

Please don't quote me.
Mike Piazza

Never let your dreams go away.
Mike Piazza

You can't get real happy or real depressed when you play baseball. Baseball is a great sport in that it offers a player a lot of opportunities for atonement.
Mike Piazza

I long for the days when athletes were revered. I want to see the romance return to sports, to see people enjoy the game purely for the game and the players.
Mike Piazza

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Left overs