When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.Women are so much better at financial planning than men!
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Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel;
the
only way to move things was by carrying or dragging.
One day, some primitive
guys were watching their wives
drag a dead mastodon and other food to the food
preparation area.
It was exhausting work and the guys were getting tired just
watching.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders,
and they had
an idea:
They could sit on the boulders and watch!
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Morning Funnies
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Birthdays on April, 9th
1821 - Charles Baudelaire
1990 - Kristen Stewart
1926 - Hugh Hefner
1963 - Marc Jacobs
1928 - Tom Lehrer
1990 - Kristen Stewart
1926 - Hugh Hefner
1963 - Marc Jacobs
1928 - Tom Lehrer
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Todays Pic Dump
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Blast from the Past
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Afternoon Funnies
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This Day in History
- Lead Story
- Robert E. Lee surrenders, 1865
- American Revolution
- Jeremiah Wadsworth named commissary general, 1778
- Automotive
- Honda wins World Green Car award, 2009
- Civil War
- Confederate General Lee surrenders, 1865
- Cold War
- George Shultz condemns Soviet spying, 1987
- Crime
- A husband attempts murder for money in England, 1984
- Disaster
- Tornado reduces Oklahoma town to rubble, 1947
- General Interest
- Marian Anderson sings at Lincoln Memorial, 1939
- Germany invades Norway, 1940
- First astronauts introduced, 1959
- Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles wed, 2005
- Hollywood
- Sophia Loren wins Best Actress Oscar for Two Women, 1962
- Literary
- Mark Twain receives steamboat pilot's license, 1859
- Music
- Marian Anderson sings on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, 1939
- Old West
- Billy the Kid convicted of murder, 1881
- Presidential
- Kennedy throws first pitch at new D.C. stadium, 1962
- Sports
- Gervin beats Thompson in NBA scoring title duel, 1978
- Vietnam War
- "Chicago Eight" plead not guilty, 1969
- World War I
- Battle of the Lys begins, 1918
- World War II
- Germany invades Norway and Denmark, 1940
- U.S. surrenders in Bataan, 1942
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