Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management 

Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council). 

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged. 

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill) 

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug." 

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house. 

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25. 

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines. 

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
 

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Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on November 30th

 1835 - Mark Twain
1874 - Winston Churchill
1667 - Jonathan Swift
1947 - David Mamet
1978 - Clay Aiken

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Todays Pic Dump 

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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Today in History

Folies Bergere stage first revue, 1886

American Revolution

Howe brothers offer amnesty, 1776

Automotive

Unsafe at Any Speed hits bookstores, 1965

Civil War

Rebels are defeated at the Battle of Franklin, 1864

Cold War

The United States and U.S.S.R. open talks to reduce intermediate-range nuclear forces, 1981

Crime

"America's First Female Serial Killer" strikes, 1989

Disaster

Achille Lauro sinks near Somalia, 1994

General Interest

Winston Churchill born, 1874

Meteorite strikes Alabama woman, 1954

Brady Bill signed into law, 1993

Hollywood

Jeopardy! contestant's record winning streak ends, 2004

Literary

Mark Twain is born, 1835

Music

Elton John's Greatest Hits hits #1, 1974

Old West

Harvey "Kid Curry" Logan sentenced, 1902

Presidential

Truman refuses to rule out atomic weapons, 1950

Sports

Football coach Bill Walsh is born, 1931

Vietnam War

McNamara warns Johnson that communists are gaining strength in South Vietnam, 1965

South Vietnamese draft articles for new constitution, 1966

McCarthy to enter Democratic presidential primary, 1967

White House announces no full withdrawal until final truce agreement signed, 1972

World War I

German foreign minister celebrates revolution in Russia, 1917

World War II

USSR attacks Finland, 1939

  All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site are understood to be in the public domain. If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them, please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com  

 

  

Mother-In-Law

Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife said, ''What are we going to do?''

''Nothing,'' said Ben, ''The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.'' 

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Morning Pic Dump

  

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Birthdays on November 29th

1898 - C. S. Lewis
1832 - Louisa May Alcott
1918 - Madeleine L'Engle
1953 - Alex Grey
1959 - Rahm Emanuel

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Todays Pic Dump

  

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Blast from the Past

  

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Afternoon funnies

 

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Today in History

U.N. votes for partition of Palestine, 1947

American Revolution

Congress creates Committee of Secret Correspondence, 1775

Automotive

Last day at VW for Jose Ignacio Lopez, 1996

Civil War

Native Americans are massacred at Sand Creek, Colorado, 1864

Cold War

Eisenhower goes to Korea, 1952

Crime

Dr. Conrad Murray receives four-year sentence in Michael Jackson's death, 2011

Disaster

Dust storm causes massive pileup in California, 1991

General Interest

Byrd flies over South Pole, 1929

Chinese overwhelm Allies in North Korea, 1950

Johnson establishes Warren Commission, 1963

Hollywood

Actress Natalie Wood drowns, 1981

Literary

Sue Miller is born, 1943

Music

Silver Convention "earn" a #1 pop hit with "Fly, Robin, Fly", 1975

Old West

Colorado militia massacre Cheyenne at Sand Creek, 1864

Presidential

LBJ forms commission to investigate Kennedy assassination, 1963

Sports

The legendary Eddie Robinson coaches his last game, 1997

Vietnam War

McNamara resigns as Secretary of Defense, 1967

Communists vow to smash Phoenix program, 1968

Americal Division stands down and departs, 1971

World War I

American nurse Maude Fisher writes to mother of war casualty, 1918

World War II

Coffee rationing begins, 1942

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  All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site are understood to be in the public domain. If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them, please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com