Old Guys Rule: December 2012

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Notable Quotables 2003

For the week of July 20, 2003

As the economy continues to struggle comes a thought from Moss Evans, former general secretary of the transport and General Workers Union

Money is not everything,
but it does make poverty tolerable.

For the week of July 6, 2003

With the All Star game this week comes an All Star quote from Pete Rose when asked about the proposed idea of interleague play

It would take some of the lust off the All-Star game.

For the week of June 29, 2003

It seems like humor at our politicians has dwindled so lets resurrect some.
From Marion Barry, former Washington, DC mayor, comes the following piece of sharp explanation.

First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And, second, what can I say? I am a night owl.

For the week of April 20, 2003

The Yankees are off to a great start this season, and this week they head to Anaheim to face the World Champion Angels. However, not everyone is a fan as noted by the following 1996 quote from actress Angelica Huston when asked about the Yankees in playing in the World Series.

What do I think of the Yankees?
I'm sorry, I don't follow football.

For the week of April 13, 2003

From Frank McLintock, Sky Sports (U.K.)

We were a little bit outnumbered there--it was two against two.

For the week of April 6, 2003
Comedian Chris Rock finds humor in the real life absurdities of current events:

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named, "Bush," "Dick," and "Colon." Need I say more?

For the week of March 2, 2003

The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) is holding its annual convention in Chicago February 28-March 2, 2003. To that end we are reminded of a sign in a Czech Republic tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.

For the week of February 23, 2003

From a headline in a Mannville, New York newspaper we can clearly see the failure of our educational system to motivate students to move from grade to grade. It appears that Midge Tully never made it out of Kindergarten.

Midge Tully retires after 33 years in kindergarten.

For the week of January 19, 2003

For those of you flying to San Diego for the Super Bowl or flying to get to your favorite Super Bowl party, please heed those word from American Airlines assorted nuts packet:

Instructions: Open Packet, Eat Nuts

For the week of January 12, 2003

While the Pittsburgh Steelers are no longer in the Superbowl hunt perhaps Coach Bill Cowher might wan tot get out of his enigmatic situation:

It's no-win, no-lose situation

(I guess he thinks that there was tie??).

For the week of January 5, 2003

Happy New Year!!!

This week's quote comes form the Hyatt Hyatt Regency, Macao where the following sign is posted:

Please note that letting fireworks off in the hotel guestrooms is strictly prohibited.

Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on December 26th

1891 - Henry Miller
1956 - David Sedaris
1792 - Charles Babbage
1971 - Jared Leto
1979 - Chris Daughtry

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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This day in History

Lead Story: Bugsy Siegel opens Flamingo Hotel, 1946
American Revolution: Washington wins first major U.S. victory at Trenton, 1776
Automotive: Carmaker Preston Tucker dies, 1956
Civil War: Possible war between U.S. and Britain is averted, 1861
Cold War: Porgy and Bess opens in Leningrad, 1955
Crime: Bathory's torturous escapades are exposed, 1610
Disaster: Tsunami devastates Indian Ocean coast, 2004
General Interest: Jack Johnson wins heavyweight title, 1908; Churchill addresses Congress, 1941; The first Kwanzaa, 1966; Tsunami wreaks havoc on Southeast Asia, 2004
Hollywood: The Exorcist opens, 1973
Literary: King Lear performed at Court, 1606
Music: Jimi Hendrix writes "Purple Haze", 1966
Old West: Moses Austin asks Spanish for Texas colony, 1820
Presidential: Truman dies, 1972
Sports: Jack Johnson wins heavyweight boxing title, 1908
Vietnam War: Laos says communists launched an offensive, 1967; U.S. jets strike North Vietnam, 1971
World War I: U.S. government takes over control of nation's railroads, 1917
World War II: Britain surprises German attacker in the Arctic, 1943; Patton relieves Bastogne, 1944

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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Kevin had shingles.

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had...
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
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Morning Pic Dump