10 reasons not to jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
5. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
10. I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on January 29th

1954 - Oprah Winfrey
1880 - W. C. Fields
1737 - Thomas Paine
1860 - Anton Chekhov
1927 - Edward Abbey

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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Bonus Leftovers

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This day in History

Lead Story

U.S. Baseball Hall of Fame elects first members, 1936

American Revolution

Americans retreat from Fort Independence, 1777

Automotive

William McKinley, first U.S. president to ride in a car, is born, 1843

Civil War

Kansas enters the Union as a free state, 1861

Cold War

Dr. Strangelove premieres, 1964

Crime

School shooting in San Diego, 1979

Disaster

Theater collapses in Washington, D.C., 1922

General Interest

King George III dies, 1820

Divided Kansas enters the Union, 1861

Liliuokalani proclaimed queen of Hawaii, 1891

Deng Xiaoping and Jimmy Carter sign accords, 1979

Hollywood

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward marry, 1958

Literary

"The Raven" is published, 1845

Music

Peter, Paul and Mary sign their first recording contract, 1962

Old West

Edward Abbey is born, 1927

Presidential

Jackson sends troops to put down labor riot, 1834

William McKinley is born, 1843

Sports

Baseball Hall of Fame inducts first members, 1936

Vietnam War

President Johnson requests additional funds, 1968

Fighting continues in South Vietnam, 1974

World War I

German lieutenant Erwin Rommel leads daring mission in France, 1915

World War II

Iran signs Treaty of Alliance with Great Britain and USSR, 1942

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