A Little Humor for Today!

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

His mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment, for enjoying sex.


Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel because those that matter, don't mind; and those that mind, don't matter!

And As You Slide Down that Banister of Life You Should Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

*****************************************************

                                    Morning Funnies

                                                  

 

 ****************************************************

Birthdays on March19th 2014

1860 - William Jennings Bryan

1921 - Tommy Cooper

1891 - Earl Warren

1888 - Josef Albers

1748 - Elias Hicks

  

*************************************************

Todays Funnies

 **************************************************

Blast from the Past

1860 - William Jennings Bryan

1921 - Tommy Cooper

1891 - Earl Warren

1888 - Josef Albers

1748 - Elias Hicks

Birthdays on March 19th | All

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/#suwB3GPuTM0sMu0A.99

                                                                            *******************************************************

Afternoon Funnies

  *************************************************

Today in History

Lead Story

War in Iraq begins, 2003

American Revolution

Thomas McKean is born, 1734

Automotive

Maverick auto exec John DeLorean dies, 2005

Civil War

Rebels fail to stop Yankees at the Battle of Bentonville, 1865

Cold War

East Germany approves new constitution, 1949

Crime

Bodies found in Yosemite serial killer case, 1999

Disaster

Peruvian town wiped out, 1971

General Interest

First U.S. air combat mission begins, 1916

Nevada legalizes gambling, 1931

DeMille wins Oscar, 1953

Hollywood

First Academy Awards telecast on NBC, 1953

Literary

Balzac botches a publicity stunt, 1842

Music

Elvis Presley puts a down payment on Graceland, 1957

Old West

Artist Charlie Russell born, 1864

Presidential

Bush announces the launch of Operation Iraqi Freedom, 2003

Sports

Texas Western defeats Kentucky in NCAA finals, 1966

Vietnam War

Seoul agrees to send additional troops, 1966

National emergency declared in Cambodia, 1970

World War I

First U.S. air-combat mission begins, 1916

World War II

General Fromm executed for plot against Hitler, 1945

************************************************