Monday, July 16, 2012

Think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen.   While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear.  The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.   She called
for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.   She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.   He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.   About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming.   Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. 

The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.   She told them.   They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out.   He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm. 

***********************************************

Morning Pic Dump

 








***********************************************
Still think you're having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.   Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.   Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman

************************************************

Birthdays on July 16th 
1968 - Barry Sanders
1967 - Will Ferrell
1953 - Mickey Rourke
1911 - Ginger Rogers
1907 - Barbara Stanwyck


  **********************************************

Todays Pic Dump












**********************************************

Blast from the Past

 



**********************************************
 
Just remember, it could be worse.
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.   At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.   A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
 
*********************************************
Afternoon Funnies












**********************************************
 
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen.   While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear.  The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.   She called
for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.   She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.   He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.   About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming.   Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. 

The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.   She told them.   They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out.   He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day ?
 

Just remember, it could be worse.
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.   At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.   A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still t hink you are having a bad day ?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.   Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.   Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
 
STILL think you're having a bad day ?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.   Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.   The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.
 
What ?! STILL having a bad day ??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.    It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it.   Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

T
here now, feeling better?

*******************************************

Todays Quote 
Birthday Boy 
Jimmy Johnson 

An objective truth and individual reason are feared above all.
Jimmy Johnson

Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?
Jimmy Johnson

Give people enough guidance to make the decisions you want them to make. Don't tell them what to do, but encourage them to do what is best.
Jimmy Johnson

I can't confirm any rumors. I'm happy doing what I'm doing. I have no interest in going back to coaching.
Jimmy Johnson

Military leaders aren't made. They are born. To be a good leader, you have to have something in your character to cause people to follow you.
Jimmy Johnson

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
Jimmy Johnson

The only thing worse than a coach or CEO who doesn't care about his people is one who pretends to care. People can spot a phony every time.
Jimmy Johnson

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a person as if he were where he could be and should be, and he will become what he could be and should be.
Jimmy Johnson

Two to three years down the road, other companies not on a model like Dell's will be in trouble.
Jimmy Johnson


All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com



 









No comments:

Post a Comment