A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some old jerk wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man was standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?”
"Malaysia, sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave Malaysia?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and soccer players there."
"Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from Malaysia!"
"Really?" replied the boy, "Who did she play for?"
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Todays " English Gone Bad" Section
1966 - Sue Wicks
1938 - Tina Turner
1933 - Robert Goulet
1924 - George Segal
1919 - Frederik Pohl
Todays Pic Dump
Todays Quotes
There's nobody in show business that I dislike so I wouldn't want to get in there to hurt anybody.
Robert Goulet
When I sing full-on I use my whole body. I open my throat and let it fly out.
Robert Goulet
When you sing a song the way I sing it, you have to use your whole body. It's almost like working out.
Robert Goulet
Why stop now when I'm just getting the hang of it?
Robert Goulet
You have to remember, I didn't want this life.
Robert Goulet
You open the show with a bang, then don't come back on for 45 minutes.
Robert Goulet
You play your character and it isn't right to step out of it. You have to stay in that character.
Robert Goulet
Robert Goulet
When I sing full-on I use my whole body. I open my throat and let it fly out.
Robert Goulet
When you sing a song the way I sing it, you have to use your whole body. It's almost like working out.
Robert Goulet
Why stop now when I'm just getting the hang of it?
Robert Goulet
You have to remember, I didn't want this life.
Robert Goulet
You open the show with a bang, then don't come back on for 45 minutes.
Robert Goulet
You play your character and it isn't right to step out of it. You have to stay in that character.
Robert Goulet
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