Santa brings joy to all the girls and boys
Grin and Bear it
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. 'Give me one last request, dear,' he said.
'Of course, John,' his wife said softly.
'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Bob.'
'But I thought you hated Bob,' she said.
With his last breath John said, 'I do!'
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A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' 'Of course, John,' his wife said softly.
'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Bob.'
'But I thought you hated Bob,' she said.
With his last breath John said, 'I do!'
--------------------------------------
The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.'
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?'
The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?'
The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.'
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?'
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison'
Todays Pic Dump
1955 - Mary Landrieu
1954 - Bruce Hornsby
1934 - Robert Towne
1888 - Harpo Marx
1887 - Boris Karloff
Cartoon Time
Todays Quotes
Happy Thanksgiving
Kin Hubbard
Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military.
James Patterson
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Irv Kupcinet
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
Konrad von Gesner
Christians were instructed to serve others, and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the fact that God offered a way for man to return to a positive relationship with Him.
John Clayton
Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving. Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday.
John Clayton
Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.
Joseph Auslander
Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Richard Roeper
From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives for ever; That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea.
Algernon Charles Swinburne
Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.
Henry Van Dyke
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart
I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.
Todd Barry
If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.
Tony Snow
It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Marilu Henner
It's like being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving - you can put your elbows on it, you don't have to talk politics... no matter how old I get, there's always a part of me that's sitting there.
John Hughes
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
David Letterman
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes. I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.
Cindy Margolis
My whole problem is that all of my favorite things at Thanksgiving are the starches, and everyone is trying to go low-carb this year, even a green vegetable has carbs in it.
Ted Allen
On Thanksgiving I will stop to give thanks that my family is safe and healthy, especially because I realize that, following the tragedies of this year, it is all too real a possibility that they might not have been.
Bobby Jindal
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