Lame one- liners

A termite walks into a bar room and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
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Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night… One was assaulted.
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“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.”
“Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
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What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
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Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin’ Catholic.
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What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
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What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
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Why can’t a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
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Famous last words of a mafia hitman: “Who put the violin in the violin case?”
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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
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What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
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What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.
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Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That’s because he hides well.
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What was the centerpiece of the annual Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.
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Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
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Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of anty-bodies.

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Todays Pic Dump

Birthdays on November 8th

1949 - Bonnie Raitt
1927 - Patti Page
1909 - Katharine Hepburn
1908 - Martha Gellhorn
1900 - Margaret Mitchell

Blast from the Past

Cartoon Time

Todays Quotes

Birthday Girl Bonnie Raitt

I've watched my peers get better with age and hoped that would happen with me.
Bonnie Raitt

Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.
Bonnie Raitt

Sometimes I'm more true when I'm up onstage than I'm able to be in my regular life. It's not as exciting to be at home, but I've got to learn how to make that work, and then I will be an ordinary woman.
Bonnie Raitt

The consolidation of the music business has made it difficult to encourage styles like the blues, all of which deserve to be celebrated as part of our most treasured national resources.
Bonnie Raitt

There were so many great music and political scenes going on in the late '60s in Cambridge. The ratio of guys to girls at Harvard was four to one, so all of those things were playing in my mind.
Bonnie Raitt

There's nothing like living a long time to create a depth and soulfulness in your music.
Bonnie Raitt

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