Thursday, September 5, 2013



1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .
that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog .. . ..
but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . .
you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining . . .
as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .
when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of
the dark . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important . . .
because they demonstrate how many people a company can
operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions . . .
you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..
and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy
  (or girl) . . .. who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins . . ..
the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m. . .. like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .
when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where . . ..
'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . .
there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .
not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .
we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness .. . ..
but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than
in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .
you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . .. and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow .. . ..
but it's still a gift.

Morning Pic Dump

Birthdays on Sept. 5th
 1946 - Freddie Mercury
1950 - Cathy Guisewite
1929 - Bob Newhart
1936 - Jonathan Kozol
1969 - Dweezil Zappa

Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the Past

Afternoon Funnies

This day in history

Lead Story
Sam Houston elected as president of Texas , 1836
American Revolution
First session of Continental Congress convenes, 1774
The New York Times gives "On the Road" a rave review, 1957
Civil War
U.S. foreign minister threatens the British over ships, 1863
Cold War
Pasternak's Dr. Zhivago appears in the United States, 1958
Arab terrorists take Israeli hostages at the Olympics, 1972
Londoners desperately attempt to halt fire, 1666
General Interest
First Continental Congress convenes, 1774
Crazy Horse killed, 1877
Russo-Japanese peace treaty signed, 1905
Battle of the Marne begins, 1914
Ford assassination attempt thwarted, 1975
Katie Couric makes network anchor debut, 2005
On the Road is published, 1957
"House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals tops the U.S. pop charts, 1964
Old West
Outlaw Jesse James is born in Missouri, 1847
Gerald Ford survives first assassination attempt, 1975
Massacre begins at Munich Olympics, 1972
Vietnam War
Calley charged for My Lai massacre, 1969
U.S. forces launch last major American operation of the war, 1970
World War I
Joffre gives order to attack at the Marne , 1914
World War II
U.S. forces seize more of New Guinea, 1943


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