Monday, August 26, 2013

Facts About Old Men and Women


Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?
A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction. 

Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live. 

Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child. 

Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles. 

Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is. 

Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage. 

Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon 

Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads. 

Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'


Todays Pic Dump

Birthdays on August 26th



Blast from the Past



This day in History
Lead Story
First televised Major League baseball game, 1939
American Revolution
Washington urges Hessians to desert, 1776
Mini makes its debut, 1959
Civil War
Second Bull Run campaign begins, 1862
Cold War
Russia tests an intercontinental ballistic missile, 1957
"Preppy Murder" stuns New York, 1986
NYC and Philly sizzle in heat wave, 1948
General Interest
Battle of Crecy, 1346
19th Amendment adopted, 1920
Democratic convention besieged by protesters, 1968
Charles Lindbergh dies, 1974
Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin born, 1980
Ralph Waldo Emerson meets Thomas Carlyle, 1838
Grease movie soundtrack earns its second #1 hit, 1978
Old West
Lewis and Clark promote Patrick Gass to sergeant, 1804
George Washington writes to Henry Lee, 1794
Lights, cameras, baseball, 1939
Vietnam War
Johnson receives Democratic nomination for president, 1964
Major George E. Day shot down over North Vietnam, 1967
Democratic National Convention opens in Chicago, 1968
World War I
Battle of Tannenberg begins, 1914
World War II
DeGaulle enters a free Paris, 1944


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