Friday, September 28, 2012

The Deaf Man


The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job--if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.

The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what
you're talking about."

The hood pulls out a .38 pistol and places it in the ear of the
deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

The deaf man signs, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate."

The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger!"



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Morning Pic Dump








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Birthdays on September 28th
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Todays Pic Dump








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Blast from the Past










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Afternoon Funnies








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Todays Quote

 Birthday Boy
Steve Largent


There's nothing like playing. You can coach and you can be around the game, but there is nothing like playing. It's just so much fun.
Steve Largent

People are very protective of their cell phones, how it's used, where it's used and how much it costs. It has become a very personal issue for a whole lot of people in this country.
Steve Largent

Where is the harm in the wireless industry?
Steve Largent

When you start thinking about taking pictures, sending an e-mail, receiving an e-mail, speaking into your phone and have it transcript voice into text and then sent as an e-mail, it's mind-boggling.
Steve Largent

When a child grows up without a father, there is an empty place where someone must stand, providing an example of character and confidence.
Steve Largent

What you see happening right now with some of the consolidation is all about more spectrum and capital formation that give you the scale, scope and resources to invest in that 3G world.
Steve Largent


We're not necessarily the ski boat, we're the skier. There are countries like Japan and Korea and others who are the ski boat at this point, but we're getting pulled right behind them.
Steve Largent

We're not in the business of shaping consumer demand. We respond to it.
Steve Largent

This is going to become a battle for access to your home and office plus mobility. It's about who can provide the biggest and least expensive and fastest pipe to your home and office and offer you a mobility feature.
Steve Largent

These companies know that at their current size they're not going to be big enough to have the necessary capital, and they don't have enough spectrum to get to the third generation.
Steve Largent

Sometimes Congress likes to milk an issue.
Steve Largent

People are very interested in having access to wireless data while they are on a plane.
Steve Largent

Life is very good. I'm the president and Chief Executive Officer of the Wireless trade association, the CTIA.
Steve Largent

It's still fun to come to games, and it's still fun to be in the Seattle crowd.
Steve Largent

It's hard, or you wouldn't like it. A lot of coaches really don't like what they're doing.
Steve Largent

It would have been a lot of fun as a receiver to play.
Steve Largent

It sure made me feel good to be here today, and have so many people say so many kind things.
Steve Largent

I don't have the fire in the belly right now. It's one of those been there, done that deals.
Steve Largent

A child can escape the shadows.
Steve Largent

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Thursday, September 27, 2012

More Irish Information




 

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink
Is driving home from the city one night and,
Of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver,
Where have ya been?"
Why, I've been to the pub of course,"
Slurs the drunk.
Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
A few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and
Folding his arms across his chest,
"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
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Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"
I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus’s dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?""Well, Brenda... No. In fact,
He got out three times to pee."
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Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.
My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said,
'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
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drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
Enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his
Attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,
there's no paper on this side either!"



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Morning Pic Dump









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Birthdays on September 27th

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Todays Pic Dump










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Blast from the Past
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Afternoon Funnies









 
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Todays Quote

Birthday Boy
Randy Bachman


Share29

You take all the things that frighten you, and when you can get them to work for you all of sudden people are calling you a success.
Randy Bachman

You don't need a uniform color: We used a mixture of brick red, browns and grays, and then threw in seashells, branches and various types of rock, so our walls ended up looking like cave paintings!
Randy Bachman

You are still lucky - you have a certain type of people who keep buying your music - but then you can get typecast and have to keep making that same music, and you can change only slightly. It's risky to bounce around and change your type of music.
Randy Bachman

With The Guess Who, it took us fifty-something singles before we had hits.
Randy Bachman

When you play all that as a body of work there are four great songs, four mediocre songs and four bad songs. I didn't know it at the time; I was just doing my best.
Randy Bachman

When you get successful, you can do pretty much whatever you want.
Randy Bachman


When I was five I had violin lessons.
Randy Bachman

To add an AC outlet, for example, you just drill a circular hole in the wall, tap into the wiring, add the outlet and you're set. If you don't want it, pull it out and plaster over it with more earth to seal the hole.
Randy Bachman

Those two songs condense the two albums. They also show what the audiences wanted. I was desperate to keep the band together and find something that the public would like.
Randy Bachman

Those albums are so important to me because, for the first time, I was making my own music, paying for it, finding strengths in it, and going through the process of finding the right music for the record.
Randy Bachman

My songs are like cheap Neil Young copies.
Randy Bachman

My love, growing up on the Prairies, was country music.
Randy Bachman

The local music community here was dying for a place to record, so we started doing acoustic, folk and bluegrass and then did rock projects for other bands, as well as for my son Tal and my own work.
Randy Bachman

The fact that the internet is so active; people can now speak to me indirectly.
Randy Bachman

I listened to it last night for the first time since we started this project. I went out to my car and put it in and went to an empty parking lot and just listened and read the little pamphlet that came with it. After two or three songs I burst into tears.
Randy Bachman

I learned at an early age that I was given something special when I was born, and that was the gift of music.
Randy Bachman

I don't think that bands that make it on their first album are as strong as bands that don't: there is nowhere to go but down.
Randy Bachman

Generally, you are held to a sound and that becomes your sound. That gets branded as your sound, and all the copycats start with it because the labels are looking for that sound.
Randy Bachman

Every night we all felt grateful to be there, stunned at the amount of people that are there, and stunned at their reactions. They go crazy; they know every lyric from eight years of age to eighty. It's unbelievable.
Randy Bachman



All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com