Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Housekeeping Tips

Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good ones)
  1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
  2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
  3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.
  4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
  5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
  6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
  7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
  8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
  9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  11. Simplify... hire a maid.
  12. My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
  13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
  14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
  15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
  16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
  17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..." 


Morning Pic Dump


Birthdays on September 19th
1922 - Emil Zatopek
1974 - Jimmy Fallon
1913 - Frances Farmer
1945 - Kate Adie
1948 - Jeremy Irons


Todays Pic Dump

Blast from the Past


Afternoon Funnies


Todays Quote

Birthday Boy
Orson Pratt

Any people attempting to govern themselves by laws of their own making, and by officers of their own appointment, are in direct rebellion against the kingdom of God.
Orson Pratt

The kingdom of God is a theocracy. And as it is the only form of government which will redeem and save mankind, it is necessary that every soul should be rightly and thoroughly instructed in regard to its nature and general characteristics.
Orson Pratt

God the Father and God the Son cannot be everywhere present; indeed they cannot be even in two places at the same instant: but God the Holy Spirit is omnipresent - it extends through all space, with all other matter.
Orson Pratt

All the modern christian churches have no more authority to preach, baptize, or administer any other ordinance of the gospel than the idolatrous Hindoos have.
Orson Pratt

A true servant of God will never teach a false doctrine. He will never deny new revelation. He never will tell you that the canon of scripture is full, or that the New Testament is the last revelation ever intended to be given to man.
Orson Pratt

The greatest desire of my heart was for the Lord to manifest His will concerning me.
Orson Pratt

The kingdom of God is an order of government established by divine authority. It is the only legal government that can exist in any part of the universe.
Orson Pratt

Noah and his family were the only loyal and obedient subjects to the legal power: they alone were saved.
Orson Pratt

At various times during the last four thousand years God has asserted his rights and endeavoured to establish his own authority, his own laws, and his own government among the children of men.
Orson Pratt

God is the King. In him exists all legal authority.
Orson Pratt

If God had sufficient wisdom and power to construct such a beautiful world as this, then we must admit that his wisdom and power are immeasurably greater than that of man, and hence he is qualified to reign as king.
Orson Pratt

An order of government, established by such an all-wise, powerful being, must be good and perfect, and must be calculated to promote the permanent peace, happiness, and well-being of all his subjects.
Orson Pratt

The system of idolatry, invented by modern christianity, far surpasses in absurdity anything that we have ever heard of.
Orson Pratt

The true God He has extension, and form, and dimensions. He occupies space; has a body, parts, and passions; can go from place to place. He can eat, drink, and talk.
Orson Pratt

The Godhead consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Father is a material being.
Orson Pratt

God is a spirit. A spirit is as much matter as oxygen or hydrogen.
Orson Pratt

Each atom of the Holy Spirit is intelligent, and like all other matter has solidity, form, and size, and occupies space.
Orson Pratt

It is a grievous sin in the sight of God for any man to presume to baptize, unless God has authorized him by new revelation to baptize in his name.
Orson Pratt

Do not suffer any man to baptize or minister unto you, unless God has spoken unto him by the voice of his servants, and authorized him to minister in his name.
Orson Pratt

It was seldom that I attended any religious meetings, as my parents had not much faith in and were never so unfortunate as to unite themselves with any of the religious sects.
Orson Pratt

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