Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Funny Christmas pictures

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“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.”

“You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.”
 
“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than  Christmas.”



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Morning Funnies










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Birthdays on December 18th







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Todays Pic Dump











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Christmas Suprise


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Afternoon funnies










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This day in History
Lead Story
Mayflower docks at Plymouth Harbor, 1620
American Revolution
States give thanks, 1777
Automotive
"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" opens in New York, 1968
Civil War
Rebles rout Yankees in western Tennessee, 1862
Cold War
Nixon announces start of "Christmas Bombing" of North Vietnam, 1972
Crime
The death of Molly-ism, 1878
Disaster
Power plant burns in Venezuela, 1982
General Interest
Slavery abolished in America, 1865
Piltdown Man discovered, 1912
Hollywood
Director Steven Spielberg born, 1946
Literary
Short story writer H.H. Munro is born in Burma, 1870
Music
The Tokens earn a #1 hit with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", 1961
Old West
Wetherill and Mason discover Mesa Verde, 1888
Presidential
Woodrow Wilson marries Edith Bolling Galt, 1915
Sports
Ty Cobb is born, 1886
Vietnam War
Nixon orders the initiation of Operation Linebacker II, 1972
World War I
Battle of Verdun ends, 1916
World War II
Japan invades Hong Kong, 1941





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Monday, December 16, 2013

AGE IS A WONDERFUL THING


ROMANCE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"
 
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OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

"How soon do you need to Know?"
 

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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
 

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Morning funnies









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Birthdays on December 16th

 


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Todays Pic Dump









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Blast from the Past 


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Afternoon funnies







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This day in History

Lead Story
The Boston Tea Party, 1773
American Revolution
Sons of Liberty dump British tea, 1773
Automotive
OPEC states raise oil prices, 1979
Civil War
Johnston named commander of Army of Tennessee, 1863
Cold War
Truman declares state of emergency, 1950
Crime
A terrorist bomber begins his deadly rampage, 1989
Disaster
Two airplanes collide over New York City, 1960
General Interest
Earthquake rocks the American wilderness, 1811
Earthquake devastates Gansu province of China, 1920
Battle of the Bulge begins, 1944
Pakistani forces defeated in Bangladesh, 1971
Hollywood
Saturday Night Fever turns Travolta into movie star, 1977
"Larry King Live" ends after 25 years on CNN, 2010
Literary
Jane Austen's birthday, 1775
Music
Antonin Dvorak's "New World Symphony" receives its world premiere in New York City, 1893
Old West
Edwards declares the Texas Republic of Fredonia, 1826
Presidential
Clinton orders air attack on Iraq, 1998
Sports
OJ Simpson rushes record 2,000 yards in a season, 1973
Vietnam War
Westmoreland asks for more troops, 1965
Kissinger announces that North Vietnamese left negotiations, 1972
World War I
Germans bombard English ports of Hartlepool and Scarborough, 1914
World War II
Battle of the Bulge, 1944
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