Monday, December 16, 2013



An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

"How soon do you need to Know?"


As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"



Morning funnies

Birthdays on December 16th


Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the Past 

Afternoon funnies

This day in History

Lead Story
The Boston Tea Party, 1773
American Revolution
Sons of Liberty dump British tea, 1773
OPEC states raise oil prices, 1979
Civil War
Johnston named commander of Army of Tennessee, 1863
Cold War
Truman declares state of emergency, 1950
A terrorist bomber begins his deadly rampage, 1989
Two airplanes collide over New York City, 1960
General Interest
Earthquake rocks the American wilderness, 1811
Earthquake devastates Gansu province of China, 1920
Battle of the Bulge begins, 1944
Pakistani forces defeated in Bangladesh, 1971
Saturday Night Fever turns Travolta into movie star, 1977
"Larry King Live" ends after 25 years on CNN, 2010
Jane Austen's birthday, 1775
Antonin Dvorak's "New World Symphony" receives its world premiere in New York City, 1893
Old West
Edwards declares the Texas Republic of Fredonia, 1826
Clinton orders air attack on Iraq, 1998
OJ Simpson rushes record 2,000 yards in a season, 1973
Vietnam War
Westmoreland asks for more troops, 1965
Kissinger announces that North Vietnamese left negotiations, 1972
World War I
Germans bombard English ports of Hartlepool and Scarborough, 1914
World War II
Battle of the Bulge, 1944

No comments:

Post a Comment