Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Scotch with 2 drops of water

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship
And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'
The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink
The woman to her right says
'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says
'Thank you.
Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up' says the bartender
As she finishes that drink,
The man to her left says
'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says
'Thank you.
Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink,he says
'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies
'Sonny, when you're my age,
You've learned how to hold your liquor...
Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.' 



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Morning Funnies











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Birthdays on December 3rd
 
1857 - Joseph Conrad
1930 - Jean-Luc Godard
1948 - Ozzy Osbourne
1985 - Amanda Seyfried
1968 - Brendan Fraser
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Todays Pic dump










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Blast from the Past
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Afternoon Funnies

 














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This day in History

Lead Story
A Streetcar Named Desire opens on Broadway, 1947
American Revolution
Washington arrives at the banks of the Delaware, 1776
Automotive
Last AMC Pacer rolls off assembly line, 1979
Civil War
Union General George McClellan is born, 1826
Cold War
Bush and Gorbachev suggest Cold War is coming to an end, 1989
Crime
The clothes make the man . . . guilty, 1989
Disaster
Explosion kills 2,000 at pesticide plant, 1984
General Interest
First Balkan War ends, 1912
First human heart transplant, 1967
The Bhopal-Union Carbide disaster, 1984
Hollywood
Heavy-metal legend Ozzy Osbourne born, 1948
Literary
Joseph Conrad's birthday, 1857
Music
Eleven people killed in a stampede outside Who concert in Cincinnati, Ohio, 1979
Old West
Illinois becomes the 21st state, 1818
Presidential
Lincoln reaches legal milestone, 1839
Sports
Indian field hockey gold medalist Dhyan Chand dies, 1979
Vietnam War
Report maintains that Viet Cong are prepared for a long war, 1962
Memorandum outlines terms for bombing halt, 1965
World War I
Nivelle replaces Joffre as French commander, 1916
World War II
Civil war breaks out in Athens, 1944
 
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