Monday, September 17, 2012

2 Lawyers

        There was a job opening in one of the country's most prestigious law firms, and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?" In seconds, he chooses Paul.
Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I told him that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients.
"What in the world did you tell him?"
"I told him I became a lawyer because of my hands,"
Paul replies. "Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"
He told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.
He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.
The wife was curious.
"What are you doing, honey?" she asked.
"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

Morning Pic Dump

 Birthdays on September 17th
 1930 - Jim Rohn
1955 - Rita Rudner
1935 - Ken Kesey
1907 - Warren E. Burger
1960 - Damon Hill

Todays Pic Dump

Blast from the Past


Afternoon Funnies


Todays Quote

Birthday Boy
Jesse Owens
We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.
Jesse Owens

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
Jesse Owens

Although I wasn't invited to shake hands with Hitler, I wasn't invited to the White House to shake hands with the President either.
Jesse Owens

One chance is all you need.
Jesse Owens

Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust.
Jesse Owens

Find the good. It's all around you. Find it, showcase it and you'll start believing in it.
Jesse Owens

The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself - the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us - that's where it's at.
Jesse Owens

For a time, at least, I was the most famous person in the entire world.
Jesse Owens

Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust.
Jesse Owens

Life doesn't give you all the practice races you need.
Jesse Owens

The only bond worth anything between human beings is their humanness.
Jesse Owens

If you don't try to win you might as well hold the Olympics in somebody's back yard.
Jesse Owens

I let my feet spend as little time on the ground as possible. From the air, fast down, and from the ground, fast up.
Jesse Owens

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