Monday, October 14, 2013

How Children See Their Grandparents

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she had done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2.  My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked  me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4.  A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked  wild raspberries in the woods" The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he  asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided  to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8.  When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy 
whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with

9.  When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10.  A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today. "The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said.. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple,"  replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11.  Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."  The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked."Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12.  A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No,"  said another.
"He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13.  A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14.  Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15.  My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

Morning funnies

Birthdays on October 14th
Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the past


Afternoon funnies


This day in History

Lead Story
Yeager breaks sound barrier, 1947
American Revolution
Patriots sting Loyalists at Shallow Ford, North Carolina, 1780
Elwood Haynes, "Grandsire of Gasoline Cars," is born, 1857
Civil War
Union repels Rebels at the Battle of Bristoe Station, 1863
Cold War
The Cuban Missile Crisis begins, 1962
Trial begins in Amityville murders, 1975
Coal miners die in Wales, 1913
General Interest
The Battle of Hastings, 1066
Theodore Roosevelt shot in Milwaukee, 1912
King wins Nobel Peace Prize, 1964
Skydiver breaks sound barrier with 24-mile jump, 2012
Pulp Fiction debuts, 1994
Victor Hugo marries Adele Foucher, 1822
"Wake Up Little Susie" becomes the Everly Brothers' first #1 hit, 1957
Old West
Ralph Lauren, designer of popular western-style clothing, is born in New York, 1939
Dwight D. Eisenhower is born, 1890
Steve Bartman catches ball, 2003
Vietnam War
Khrushchev ousted as premier of Soviet Union, 1964
U.S. servicemen sent to Vietnam for second tours, 1968
World War I
Adolf Hitler wounded in British gas attack, 1918
World War II
"The Desert Fox" commits suicide, 1944

No comments:

Post a Comment