Old Guys Rule: December 2013

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Funny Christmas pictures

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“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.”

“You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.”

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than Christmas.”

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Morning Funnies

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Birthdays on December 18th

1956 - Ron White
1943 - Keith Richards
1947 - Steven Spielberg
1980 - Christina Aguilera
1963 - Brad Pitt

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Todays Pic Dump

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Christmas Suprise

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Afternoon funnies

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This day in History

Lead Story: Mayflower docks at Plymouth Harbor, 1620
American Revolution: States give thanks, 1777
Automotive: "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" opens in New York, 1968
Civil War: Rebles rout Yankees in western Tennessee, 1862
Cold War: Nixon announces start of "Christmas Bombing" of North Vietnam, 1972
Crime: The death of Molly-ism, 1878
Disaster: Power plant burns in Venezuela, 1982
General Interest: Slavery abolished in America, 1865; Piltdown Man discovered, 1912
Hollywood: Director Steven Spielberg born, 1946
Literary: Short story writer H.H. Munro is born in Burma, 1870
Music: The Tokens earn a #1 hit with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", 1961
Old West: Wetherill and Mason discover Mesa Verde, 1888
Presidential: Woodrow Wilson marries Edith Bolling Galt, 1915
Sports: Ty Cobb is born, 1886
Vietnam War: Nixon orders the initiation of Operation Linebacker II, 1972
World War I: Battle of Verdun ends, 1916
World War II: Japan invades Hong Kong, 1941

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Monday, December 16, 2013

AGE IS A WONDERFUL THING

ROMANCE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"
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OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

"How soon do you need to Know?"

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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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Morning funnies