Friday, June 28, 2013


Company Policy:  Effective from July 1st, 2013
 Dress Code
 It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
 If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
 assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
 If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
 that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If
 you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore
 you do not need a raise.
 Sick Days
 We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
 sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to
 Personal Days
 Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are
called Saturday & Sunday.
 Bereavement Leave
 This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do
 for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made
 to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
 employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
 late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
 hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
 Toilet Use
 Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now
 a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
 stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.
 After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the
 company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".
 Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the
 company's mental health policy.
 Lunch Break
 Skinny/Slim people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat
 more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes
 for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
 Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the
 time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
 Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide
 a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
 concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
 insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
 and input should be directed elsewhere.
                                      Morning Funnies

Birthdays on June 28th

Todays Pic dump

Blast from the past

( I always thought he was saying Reverend in Blue Jeans..)
Afternoon Funnies 

This day in History
Lead Story
Workers assemble first Corvette in Flint, Michigan, 1953
American Revolution
Former President James Madison dies, 1836
DaimlerChrysler announces Smart's arrival in United States, 2006
Civil War
Confederates capture commercial ship, 1862
Cold War
Yugoslavia expelled from COMINFORM, 1948
A teenage girl's boyfriend murders her parents, 1975
A serial rapist strikes in Allentown, 1993
Two big quakes rock California, 1992
General Interest
Charles elected Holy Roman emperor, 1519
Archduke Ferdinand assassinated, 1914
Keynes predicts economic chaos, 1919
The Stonewall Riot, 1969
Lasky Company merges with Famous Players, later to become Paramount, 1916
Robert Louis Stevenson sets sail for the South Seas, 1888
Louis Armstrong records "West End Blues", 1928
Old West
Western writer Emerson Hough is born, 1857
Harry S. Truman marries Bess Wallace, 1919
Mike Tyson bites ear, 1997
Vietnam War
U.S. forces launch first offensive, 1965
Nixon announces draftees will not go to Vietnam, 1972
World War I
Archduke Franz Ferdinand assassinated, 1914
World War II
Britain recognizes General Charles de Gaulle as the leader of the Free French, 1940

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