Tuesday, January 29, 2013

10 reasons not to jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
5. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
10. I don’t jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Morning Pic Dump


Birthdays on January 29th

Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the Past


Afternoon Funnies


Bonus Leftovers

This day in History

Lead Story
U.S. Baseball Hall of Fame elects first members, 1936
American Revolution
Americans retreat from Fort Independence, 1777
William McKinley, first U.S. president to ride in a car, is born, 1843
Civil War
Kansas enters the Union as a free state, 1861
Cold War
Dr. Strangelove premieres, 1964
School shooting in San Diego, 1979
Theater collapses in Washington, D.C., 1922
General Interest
King George III dies, 1820
Divided Kansas enters the Union, 1861
Liliuokalani proclaimed queen of Hawaii, 1891
Deng Xiaoping and Jimmy Carter sign accords, 1979
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward marry, 1958
"The Raven" is published, 1845
Peter, Paul and Mary sign their first recording contract, 1962
Old West
Edward Abbey is born, 1927
Jackson sends troops to put down labor riot, 1834
William McKinley is born, 1843
Baseball Hall of Fame inducts first members, 1936
Vietnam War
President Johnson requests additional funds, 1968
Fighting continues in South Vietnam, 1974
World War I
German lieutenant Erwin Rommel leads daring mission in France, 1915
World War II
Iran signs Treaty of Alliance with Great Britain and USSR, 1942
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