Old Guys Rule: How to be Politcally Correct with Women

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

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Saturday Morning Comics

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Birthdays on March 24th

1974 - Alyson Hannigan
1930 - Steve McQueen
1874 - Harry Houdini
1834 - John Wesley Powell
1834 - William Morris

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Funny Stuff

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Todays Quote

Birthday Girl

Lara Flynn Boyle

And I don't believe that women can successfully have it all. I really don't.
Lara Flynn Boyle

And I think women have come a very, very long way, but they have a long way to go.
Lara Flynn Boyle

And while I might not always agree with the viewpoint I have to portray, because I play a district attorney, as an actress I can always tell myself that my character is trying to take the moral high ground.
Lara Flynn Boyle

As soon as you get over caring what people think, you can have a nice time.
Lara Flynn Boyle

Being Irish was a big thing for me, particularly growing up in Chicago.
Lara Flynn Boyle

But I know somebody who has a bedside urinal. How do I compete with that?
Lara Flynn Boyle

But Tommy Lee Jones is just smooth. He's just the real deal. I'm captivated by him because there's so little of that in Hollywood, and he just embodies it.
Lara Flynn Boyle

Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions.
Lara Flynn Boyle

Everybody wants to solve everybody's problems.
Lara Flynn Boyle

Have I seen The Commitments? I was obsessed with that movie. I just watched it again about two weeks ago.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I am a very selfish person.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I am very fortunate to have a career. I always have to act. I don't know if I'll have a career to support it for the rest of my life, but I know I'll always act.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I don't have a problem with my body. I don't diet, and I'm not hiding anything. I'm not going to be the subject of a movie of the week 10 years from now.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I had never watched a law show prior to being cast on The Practice.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels. I still have them.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I had such a great mom and I know that I'd never be that mom. I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world unless I could be.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I know that I'm getting the real deal with my mom. I know that she's telling it like it is. She's proud of me when I've earned it and she's disappointed in me when I've earn that. She's really my spectrum on where I am as a person.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I love children and I love men, but I can't commit to either for the rest of my life.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I love fast cars... and to go too fast in them.
Lara Flynn Boyle

I love receiving fan mail.
Lara Flynn Boyle

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Left overs

Old Man Meme's