Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruth less.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a Little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph w as heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan.)
PS... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . ... 'He-brews'
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Morning Pic Dump
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Birthdays on February 17th
1971 - Denise Richards
1963 - Michael Jordan
1925 - Hal Holbrook
1889 - H. L. Hunt
1874 - Thomas J. Watson
1963 - Michael Jordan
1925 - Hal Holbrook
1889 - H. L. Hunt
1874 - Thomas J. Watson
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....and now, from the, "hard to believe it"
department......
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Miss Airport 2011 Calendar
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Blast from the Past
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Blast from the Past
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Funny Signs
Cartoon Time
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Todays Quote
Todays Quote
Birthday Girl
Paris Hilton
A true heiress is never mean to anyone - except a girl who steals your boyfriend.
Paris Hilton
All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there.
Paris Hilton
All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.
Paris Hilton
Being grown up and in a serious relationship, I've learned so much. I'm happier than I've every been.
Paris Hilton
By channeling my inner heiress, I created a new opportunity for young heiresses.
Paris Hilton
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
Everything I do is blown out of proportion. It really hurts my feelings.
Paris Hilton
First I wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realized you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.
Paris Hilton
I always knew I had a voice and I've always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think it's the hardest thing to do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realized it's what I'm most talented at and what I love to do the most.
Paris Hilton
I don't like parties past 2 am. Then it's all losers and weirdos.
Paris Hilton
I don't really think, I just walk.
Paris Hilton
I don't think there's ever been anyone like me that's lasted. And I'm going to keep on lasting.
Paris Hilton
I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris.
Paris Hilton
I don't want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn't do anything for that.
Paris Hilton
I get along with guys; most of my friends are guys. It's easier to trust men sometimes. I only have a few close girlfriends that I trust.
Paris Hilton
I get half a million just to show up at parties. My life is, like, really, really fun.
Paris Hilton
I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.
Paris Hilton
I hate when a guy brags... or he sweats.
Paris Hilton
I have been celibate for about six or seven months, I think. I would rather just make out and kiss someone instead of sex. I'm single. I said I would be single for a year and I am.
Paris Hilton
I like it, but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.
Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton
All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there.
Paris Hilton
All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.
Paris Hilton
Being grown up and in a serious relationship, I've learned so much. I'm happier than I've every been.
Paris Hilton
By channeling my inner heiress, I created a new opportunity for young heiresses.
Paris Hilton
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
Everything I do is blown out of proportion. It really hurts my feelings.
Paris Hilton
First I wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realized you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.
Paris Hilton
I always knew I had a voice and I've always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think it's the hardest thing to do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realized it's what I'm most talented at and what I love to do the most.
Paris Hilton
I don't like parties past 2 am. Then it's all losers and weirdos.
Paris Hilton
I don't really think, I just walk.
Paris Hilton
I don't think there's ever been anyone like me that's lasted. And I'm going to keep on lasting.
Paris Hilton
I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris.
Paris Hilton
I don't want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn't do anything for that.
Paris Hilton
I get along with guys; most of my friends are guys. It's easier to trust men sometimes. I only have a few close girlfriends that I trust.
Paris Hilton
I get half a million just to show up at parties. My life is, like, really, really fun.
Paris Hilton
I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.
Paris Hilton
I hate when a guy brags... or he sweats.
Paris Hilton
I have been celibate for about six or seven months, I think. I would rather just make out and kiss someone instead of sex. I'm single. I said I would be single for a year and I am.
Paris Hilton
I like it, but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.
Paris Hilton
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