Thursday, October 18, 2012

Alter Boy

Altar Boy

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl.'

The priest asks,
'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father,
I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Joey,
I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
So you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
And his friend Franco slides over
And whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months' vacation and five good leads.'


Morning Pic Dump

Birthdays on October 18th
1934 - Charles R. Swindoll
1939 - Mike Ditka
1662 - Matthew Henry
1987 - Zac Efron
1831 - Helen Hunt Jackson


Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the Past


Afternoon funnies


Todays Quote
Birthday Boy
Jesse Helms 

Conservatism is a hard choice for a society that has become accustomed to big government and big entitlements promoted by liberals.
Jesse Helms

I was with some Vietnamese recently, and some of them were smoking two cigarettes at the same time. That's the kind of customers we need!
Jesse Helms

What I am suggesting is hard work and it can be slow work, but the rewards are well worth it.
Jesse Helms

We can live our own lives in a way that does not bring reproach on the principles we claim to support.
Jesse Helms

I want our government to encourage and protect freedom as well as our traditions of faith and family.
Jesse Helms

I want our young people to believe as we did that there is no goal too high to reach if they are willing to work.
Jesse Helms

It has become more acceptable to describe yourself as a conservative, but not everyone who uses that term about themselves really is truly conservative.
Jesse Helms

That is why I fought against abortion and that is why if I were still in the Senate I would be doing everything I could to defend the sanctity of marriage.
Jesse Helms

I have tried at every point to seek God's wisdom on the decisions I made, and I made it my business to speak up on behalf of the things God tells us are important to Him.
Jesse Helms

This is an area where North Carolina does excel. I have known more colorful North Carolina political figures than I have colorless ones.
Jesse Helms

The interests of the United States are better served by demanding reform and seeing that reform takes place than by removing our influence from the UN.
Jesse Helms

It may surprise people to know that I advocate the reform of the United Nations, not its abolishment.
Jesse Helms

America must be the moral leader. It is not enough to have power. Power must be used to protect freedom and give all people hope for the opportunity to see the fruit of their own labor.
Jesse Helms

The challenge is always before us. Whenever we lose sight of the principles that mattered to our founders we run into trouble.
Jesse Helms

Such schemes take money from people who can least afford to spend it to support an unneeded bureaucracy that eats money people thought they were providing for education.
Jesse Helms

We have to be a state where business is welcome and jobs are created. We have to demand value for what is spent and we need to continue to resist a lottery.
Jesse Helms

The big secret to winning elections is to get more votes than your opponent. My friend Representative Robin Hayes is a good example to study.
Jesse Helms

In subsequent years the groups you named had important roles in educating people about the real issues in Washington and Raleigh, and within the Democratic Party.
Jesse Helms

There was no Congressional Club for my first campaign. There was no organized state group of Young Republicans, but there was a dedicated core of young people who volunteered to do anything my campaign needed.
Jesse Helms

I became a Republican when a very wise young lady asked me how I could remain a Democrat when I didn't agree with what they stood for and did agree with what the Republicans supported.
Jesse Helms

I worked in the media from the late 30's through the early 70's. Politics in general became more liberal both nationally and within the state as the years passed.
Jesse Helms

It still surprises me when I find something in any North Carolina newspaper that isn't mad at me about something.
Jesse Helms

Mr. Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He'd better have a bodyguard.
Jesse Helms

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