JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Two  boys were walking home from Sunday school after  hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One  said to the other, 'What do you think about all  this Satan stuff?' The  other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa  Claus turned out. It's  probably just your Dad.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Attending  a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered  to her mother, 'Why  is the bride dressed in white?'' The  mother replied, 'Because white is the color of  happiness, and  today is the happiest day of her life.' The  child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So  why is the groom wearing black?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ An  elderly woman died last month. Having  never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In  her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,  she wrote, 'They  wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I  don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Morning Pic Dump

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 Birthdays on October 2nd

1869 - Mahatma Gandhi
1895 - Groucho Marx
1951 - Sting
1904 - Graham Greene
1970 - Kelly Ripa

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

  

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Todays Quote

Birthday Girl

Kelly Ripa

 


I'm not a prettier everywoman. I am an everywoman that they clean up awfully well for T.V.
Kelly Ripa

In some ways, her life is so much worse that everybody else's, people feel almost cheered up and inspired. They feel like, 'If Hayley hasn't killed herself, why should I?'
Kelly Ripa

I think children are like pancakes. You sort of ruin the first one, and you get better at it the second time around.
Kelly Ripa

There's no such thing as an uber-mom.
Kelly Ripa

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.
Kelly Ripa

I get paid to make out with the hunks!
Kelly Ripa

I work out every day. It's part of my life. That's one of the benefits of having kids in school full-time.
Kelly Ripa

I'm usually done with work around 11am, so I have time before I pick the kids up from school.
Kelly Ripa

I feel like my mind is a little quieter when I exercise.
Kelly Ripa

I try to make my heart beat out of my chest, hard-core, once a day for at least a half hour. I think that's very important.
Kelly Ripa

Please get on an airplane or a horse, because it's pretty spectacular.
Kelly Ripa

When you have an entire amphitheatre of people laughing that way, it makes you feel so funny and it frees you to go further than you probably would.
Kelly Ripa

I had a picture-perfect childhood.
Kelly Ripa

My parents were like June and Ward Cleaver; there was nothing dysfunctional about them.
Kelly Ripa

If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.
Kelly Ripa

I'll quit tanning when the satchel handle grows out of my back.
Kelly Ripa

Having been a cheerleader, I know all too well what these girls give up to join forces and compete.
Kelly Ripa

I'm like any working mom.
Kelly Ripa

When I'm at work, I'm remembering what I forgot to do for the kids, and when I'm with the kids, I'm remembering what I forgot to do at work.
Kelly Ripa

Sleeping is not something I do a lot of.
Kelly Ripa

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