Monday, May 13, 2013

The collection Plate

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation

 that the church needed some extra money

 and asked the people to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. 

He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

 After the offering plates were passed, 

the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone 

had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. 

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy

 with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank

 the person who placed the money in the plate. 

A very quiet, elderly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand.

 The pastor asked her to come to the front. 

Slowly she made her way to the pastor

. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much 

and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

 Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, 

pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said,

 "I'll take him and him and him."

Morning Funnies

Birthdays on May 13th
1937 - Madeleine Albright
1950 - Stevie Wonder
1986 - Lena Dunham
1964 - Stephen Colbert
1986 - Robert Pattinson




Blast from the Past


Afternoon Funnies 


This day in History

Lead Story
President Polk declares war on Mexico, 1846
American Revolution
Connecticut Patriot Eliphalet Dyer dies, 1807
Autoworkers union head joins Chrysler board, 1980
Civil War
Grant moves on Jackson, Mississippi, 1863
Cold War
Vice President Nixon is attacked, 1958
Pope John Paul II is shot, 1981
A raid is set for MOVE headquarters, 1985
Fire breaks out at club in Japan, 1972
General Interest
Mary Queen of Scots defeated, 1568
Jamestown founded, 1607
Pope John Paul II shot, 1981
Edison sues over new motion-picture technology, 1898
Daphne Du Maurier, author of Rebecca, is born, 1907
Stevie Wonder comes of age, 1971
Old West
The inventor of western swing dies, 1975
Nixon attacked by angry Venezuelans, 1958
First Battle of the Sexes, 1973
Vietnam War
Paris peace talks at standstill, 1971
Heavy fighting continues at Quang Tri and Kontum, 1972
World War I
Edith Wharton writes of the war's effect on France, 1915
World War II
Churchill announces: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.", 1940

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