Wednesday, May 8, 2013

work Humor

Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to  respectfully ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.  ”By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied.

Bernice had been employed at the same office for over 50 years and was the boss’s top secretary. Everyone was jealous of her. Every day when Bernice showed up for work she would open the drawer to her left, peek inside, and then lock it. When she finally died, her coworker Sandy, who was dying of curiosity, made it her mission to figure out what was in that drawer. After days of searching she finally found the key. Sweating with excitement she slowly opened up the drawer. Inside was a folded piece of paper. Slowly she reached inside and took it out, while cautiously looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds of trepidation she opened it up. It said the following “Put only one spoonful of sugar in the boss’s coffee.”

As a professional photographer, Judy takes a lot of pride in her pictures. Wherever she goes, she brings her pictures with her, to show off her work. “Wow”, said her host Sandra, “these are really nice pictures, you must have a great camera.” Fuming mad at the implication that her whole talent came from her camera. Judy waited until the end of the meal and then thanked her host, “thank you the meal was delicious,” and then as if an afterthought added, “you must have great pots.”

Morning Funnies


Birthdays on May 8th

Todays Pic dump


Blast from the Past


This day in History

Lead Story
V-E Day is celebrated in America and Britain, 1945
American Revolution
Militia Act establishes conscription under federal law, 1792
Henry Ford II leaves post at Ford Foundation, 1956
Civil War
Lee beats Grant to Spotsylvania, 1864
Cold War
Soviets announce boycott of 1984 Olympics, 1984
Woman convicted for tampering with Excedrin, 1988
Flash floods in Nebraska kill 23, 1950
General Interest
De Soto reaches the Mississippi, 1541
AIM occupation of Wounded Knee ends, 1973
Soviets to boycott L.A. Olympics, 1984
Sean Connery stars in his first Bond movie, Dr. No, 1963
Betty White becomes oldest Saturday Night Live host, 2010
Yeats' The Countess Cathleen opens at the Irish Literary Theatre, 1899
The theme song from Welcome Back, Kotter is the #1 song in America, 1976
Old West
Zachary Taylor fights the Battle of Palo Alto, 1846
Harry S. Truman is born, 1884
Knicks beat Lakers for NBA title, 1970
Vietnam War
Nixon defends invasion of Cambodia, 1970
Mining of North Vietnamese harbors is announced, 1972
World War I
New celebration of Armistice Day proposed, 1919
World War II
Victory in Europe, 1945

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