Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You

Signs Your Cat May Be Trying To Kill You

  1. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
  2. He actually *does* have your tongue.
  3. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
  4. Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
  5. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
  6. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
  7. Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
  8. Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
  9. Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
  10. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
  11. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
  12. Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
  13. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
  14. You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
  15. Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.

Todays Oldie but goodie

Todays pic dump..

These days everyone is upside down on their mortgage
This day in history

Lead Story
Key pens Star-Spangled Banner, 1814
American Revolution
American sympathizer Charles James Fox dies in Britain, 1806
Oprah gives away nearly 300 new cars, 2004
Civil War
Union troops discover Rebels' Antietam battle plan, 1862
Cold War
New book says war with Russia is greatest U.S. threat, 1976
Attica prison riot ends, 1971
Devastating storm heads toward Caribbean, 1989
General Interest
Britain victorious on the Plains of Abraham, 1759
Massacre at Attica Prison, 1971
Israel-Palestine peace accord signed, 1993
George Wallace dies, 1998
Law & Order debuts, 1990
Children's author Roald Dahl is born, 1916
Tupac Shakur dies, 1996
Old West
General Winfield Scott storms the Chapultepec fortress, 1847
President Carter attends Willie Nelson concert at White House, 1980
Bob Feller strikes out 17 at 17, 1936
Vietnam War
British troops arrive to disarm the Japanese, 1945
Attempted coup against Khanh government fails, 1964
Large operation begins in the DMZ, 1968
World War I
Irish nationalist seeks German support, 1914
World War II
Italy invades Egypt, 1940

Cartoon time

And now something totally different....

Everyone deserves 15 minutes of Fame...

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.
Andy Warhol

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need
to have.
Andy Warhol
Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television.
Andy Warhol

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.
Andy Warhol

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.
Andy Warhol

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
Andy Warhol

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1 comment:

  1. Great stuff! I've got a lot of "catching up" to do, but hopefully I can read these each day as you post them. Thanks for the laughs, insight, and general "old guys rule" mentality! :)