Deep Thoughts for Children

 From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."...

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -- Age 6

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15

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Morning Pic dump

In case of emergency, Break Glass

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B irthdays on March 7th

1971 - Rachel Weisz
1946 - Daniel Goleman
1849 - Luther Burbank
1934 - Willard Scott
1942 - Michael Eisner

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Todays Pic Dump

 

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Blast from the Past

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Today in History

Lead Story

Alexander Graham Bell patents the telephone, 1876

American Revolution

Five letters pass between Abigail and John Adams, 1777

Automotive

Janet Guthrie, first female Indy 500 driver, born, 1938

Civil War

Yankees clash with Rebels at the Battle of Pea Ridge, 1862

Cold War

Soviet Union denies Klaus Fuchs served as its spy, 1950

Crime

Defense rests in Andrea Yates trial, 2002

Disaster

Cyclone Bola hits New Zealand, 1988

General Interest

Hitler reoccupies the Rhineland, 1936

Bangladesh's first democratic leader, 1973

Stanley Kubrick dies, 1999

Hollywood

Writers Guild of America strike begins, 1988

Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first female director to win an Oscar, 2010

Literary

"Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" is published, 1923

Music

Pearl Bailey and Richard Nixon serenade a White House audience, 1974

Old West

Kansas quarantines Texas cattle, 1885

Presidential

Carter meets with Yitzhak Rabin, 1977

Sports

Mike Tyson unifies titles, 1987

Vietnam War

U.S. jets launch heaviest air raids of the war, 1966

Republic of Korea forces operation launch, 1967

Jets engage in aerial combat, 1972

World War I

Finland signs treaty with Germany, 1918

World War II

British forces arrive in Greece, 1941

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