Friday, March 29, 2013

Where To Retire...

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where...
 1. You are willing to park three blocks away because you found shade.
 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
 3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open the oven door.
 6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!


 You can live in California where...
 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there, rather than how many miles away it is.
 6. The four seasons are: fire, flood, mud, and drought.


 You can live in New York City where...
 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
 3. You think Central Park is "nature".
 4. You think that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
 5. You've worn out a car horn.
 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.


 You can live in Michigan where...
 1. You have only four spices: salt, pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.
 2. Halloween costumes fit over Parkas.
 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.


 You can live in the deep South where...
 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
 2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
 3. "he needed killin'" is a valid defense.
 4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.


 You could live in Colorado where...
 1. You carry your $4,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.


 You can live in the Midwest where...
 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the Mayor knows your name.
 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
 4. You end sentences with a preposition, "Where's my coat at?"
 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"


 AND you can live in Florida where...
 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind....even houses and cars.
 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.



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Morning Pic Dump









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Birthdays on March 29th

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Todays Pic Dump








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Blast from the Past



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Afternoon Funnies











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This day in History

Lead Story
U.S. withdraws from Vietnam, 1973
American Revolution
Putnam named commander of New York troops, 1776
Automotive
White House ousts GM chief, 2009
Civil War
Appomattox campaign begins, 1865
Cold War
Rosenbergs convicted of espionage, 1951
Crime
The Mad Bomber strikes in New York, 1951
Disaster
Earthquake and volcano do double damage in Mexico, 1982
General Interest
British victory at Kambula, 1879
Mariner 10 visits Mercury, 1974
Hollywood
Miramax chiefs part ways with Disney, 2005
Literary
Writer Mary Wollstonecraft marries William Godwin, 1797
Music
Tom Jones is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, 2006
Old West
Congress authorizes survey of Cumberland Road, 1806
Presidential
John Tyler is born, 1790
Herbert Hoover has telephone installed in Oval Office, 1929
Sports
Tar Heels win NCAA basketball championship, 1982
Vietnam War
Calley found guilty of My Lai murders, 1971
Last U.S. troops depart South Vietnam, 1973
World War I
Swedish prime minister resigns over WWI policy, 1917
World War II
Patton takes Frankfurt, 1945


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2 comments:

  1. "The Art Worlds' Robin Hood" for whom there's already a buzz for 'the most important voice of his generation'. That is, Marc Breed.
    http://retiretocleveland.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete