Wednesday, April 24, 2013

British Exam Answers

Define the word “monotony.”
Monotony is being married to the same person all your life.
Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
What does the word “benign” mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
What is the correct use of a semi-colon?
Only to be used as a last resort, a semi-colon is a partial removal of the intestines.

What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
In a democratic society, how important are elections?
Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
What is a social node?
A friend you have known for a very long time.

What is a supersaturated solution?
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

What is momentum?
What you give a body when they are going away.
What is a vacuum?
A large empty space where the pope lives.
What is a magnet?
Something you find crawling on a dead cat.


Morning Funnies


Birthdays on April 24th

Todays pic Dump


Blast from the Past

Afternoon funnies


This day in History
Lead Story
Easter Rebellion begins, 1916
American Revolution
Phillips and Arnold launch attack on Petersburg, Virginia, 1781
German endurance driver killed in crash, 1983
Civil War
Union issues conduct code for soldiers, 1863
Cold War
The Bandung Conference concludes, 1955
Forensic evidence is introduced in Australia, 1922
Tornado flattens towns in Louisiana and Mississippi, 1908
General Interest
Library of Congress established, 1800
Churchill knighted, 1953
Hostage rescue mission ends in disaster, 1980
Jane Fonda’s first Workout video released, 1982
Sue Grafton is born, 1940
Patti LaBelle makes her debut on the pop charts, sort of, 1962
Old West
Author Willa Cather dies, 1947
Truman is briefed on Manhattan Project, 1945
Penguins defeat Capitals in marathon hockey game, 1996
Vietnam War
Westmoreland makes controversial remarks, 1967
North Vietnamese attack South Vietnamese installations, 1971
World War I
The Easter Rising begins in Dublin, 1916
World War II
Erich Raeder, commander in chief of the German navy, is born on this day, 1876
Britain begins its evacuation of Greece in Operation Demon, 1940


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