Thursday, May 31, 2012

Psychiatric Hotline

We've all had the annoying experience of calling up a hotline and waiting on the phone for eons to hear all the choices the lucky touch-tone dialers receive. Well, think how frustrating that would be if you were calling the.... PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE The telephone rings and an answering machine answers... "Welcome to the psychiatric hotline." If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer any way. 


 HUMPDAR3
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Birthdays on May 30th
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Blast from the Past
 



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Afternoon Funnies











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Todays Quote
Birthday Girl
Brooke Shields


At Princeton I gained a great deal of pleasure from success in my classes. knowing that I could accomplish those things, and I realized that my success was directly proportionate to the work I put in.
Brooke Shields


Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window- or break down a door.
Brooke Shields

Eight shows a week is daunting, and it can be terrifying. But it just instills such a sense of confidence and growth.
Brooke Shields

Have faith in your own thoughts.
Brooke Shields

I could never, ever have an abortion.
Brooke Shields

I have a place in the Broadway community that can only be earned.
Brooke Shields


I hope this will help new moms not feel alone or desperate, and that there is no shame in their feelings. PPD is out of their control, but the treatment and healing process is not.
Brooke Shields

I think I'm going to have to live vicariously through my daughter's rebellion because I certainly never did go through adolescence.
Brooke Shields

I'm just starting to realize the type of work that I want to do. Not everyone can fit into the sitcom world because it's so fast-paced, but it feels comfortable to me.
Brooke Shields

It was my mom and I against the world. We lived in New York in this bohemian lifestyle where an extended group of artists and photographers were like my aunts and uncles.
Brooke Shields

Modeling is the world that I feel most welcome in.
Brooke Shields

My father's death, my move, and my frightening and difficult delivery created a tremendous amount of stress, pain, and sadness for me. I was practically devastated beyond recovery.
Brooke Shields


My younger years of modeling were really just filled with fun trips. I was doing catalogues for Alexander's and Bloomingdale's.
Brooke Shields

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields

'Suddenly Susan' is my life.
Brooke Shields

The difficulty of IVF or of any fertility issues is the hope and the shattered hope, the dream that it might happen this time and then it doesn't happen.
Brooke Shields

The most rewarding thing is being on Broadway. I went into Cabaret as a replacement and was really challenged beyond anything I could have imagined.
Brooke Shields

The thing about Broadway, they always welcome you with open arms.
Brooke Shields

The thing I'm the most proud of in my personal life is that my daughter actually thinks that I'm fabulous.
Brooke Shields

The very damaging, frightening part of postpartum is the lack of perspective and the lack of priority and understanding what is really important.
Brooke Shields

Leftovers




All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Coldwater

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded,
rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's
grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.  However,
John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his
grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them.
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.  Again, John was concerned
about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge
that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are
clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those
dishes are as clean as cold water can get them.  Now don't you fret, I
don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he
was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let
him pass.  John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me
get to my car".

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching
on TV, the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!" 
Dramatic Dog GIF - Dramatic Dog


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Birthdays on May 30th

1964 - Wynonna Judd
1953 - Colm Meaney
1942 - Dan Miller
1922 - Hal Clement
1909 - Benny Goodman



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Todays Quote

Birthday Boy
Jake Roberts


A child's hope is that your father comes riding in on that white stallion and saves them. You can't make somebody love you the way you want them to love you, it's not a Leave it to Beaver type world. This isn't television. Life's a lot more cruel than that.
Jake Roberts

Every moment is an experience.
Jake Roberts

I did it the stupid way, through trial and error.
Jake Roberts

I went to visit my father to tell him that I was going to go to college and become an architect - that was my dream. I was like, yeah I graduated from school, but it's not like you showed up for that. But all he was worried about is whether or not I wanted money from him.
Jake Roberts

It's the sad thing about entertainment, it's not always about who is the best.
Jake Roberts

Jake Roberts has a hard enough time being Jake Roberts. The truth is a brutal thing, I just hope that the kids take the time to learn about each of the wrestlers in the game, and if the kids can learn from our mistakes, that would make me a happy man.
Jake Roberts

Miserable is a good thing, though. If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day.
Jake Roberts

The snake will always bite back.
Jake Roberts

You know what, when you screw up in the ring, it's so embarrassing.
Jake Roberts


Leftovers






All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact me at papacase77@gmail.com