A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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Andrew said " HaHa. Loved to great puns on top. Good cartoons as Well(UUGGHH Mondays)
Thank you Andrew.
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Kari said ," I think I'm having a De Ja Poo moment now LOL ( Things not to say during Morningg childbirth) It will all go away soon...:)
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Morning pic dump
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| Fries on the side |
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Birthdays on May 29th
1958 - Annette Bening
1953 - Danny Elfman
1917 - John F. Kennedy
1903 - Bob Hope
1874 - Gilbert K. Chesterton
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Todays Pic Dump
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Blast From the Past
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Afternoon funnies
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Todays Quote
Birthday Boy
John F. Kennedy
A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
John F. Kennedy
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.
John F. Kennedy
A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or regard that quality in its chosen leaders today - and in fact we have forgotten.
John F. Kennedy
A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to make a living. Today's military rejects include tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
John F. Kennedy
All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berliner!"
John F. Kennedy
America has tossed its cap over the wall of space.
John F. Kennedy
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
John F. Kennedy
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
John F. Kennedy
Communism has never come to power in a country that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
John F. Kennedy
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
John F. Kennedy
Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.
John F. Kennedy
o you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House.
John F. Kennedy
Domestic policy can only defeat us; foreign policy can kill us.
John F. Kennedy
Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
John F. Kennedy
For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.
John F. Kennedy
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy
Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners, and necessity has made us allies. Those whom God has so joined together, let no man put asunder.
John F. Kennedy
History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
John F. Kennedy
I am not the Catholic candidate for President. I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President, who happens also to be a Catholic.
John F. Kennedy
Left Overs
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