Old Guys Rule: INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.
________________________________________________________

DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2
and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are un
supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking
3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

***************************************************

Morning Pic Dump

*************************************************

Birthdays on May 10th

1962 - David Fincher
1960 - Bono
1958 - Rick Santorum
1957 - Sid Vicious
1933 - Barbara Taylor Bradford

*********************************************

Todays Pic Dump

**********************************************

Blast from the Past

**********************************************

Afternoon Funnies

*********************************************

Todays Quote

Birthday Boy

Fred Astaire

Dancing is a sweat job.
Fred Astaire

Disco is just jitterbug.

Fred Astaire

I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity... I don't want to look like a little old man dancing out there.

Fred Astaire

I have no desire to prove anything by dancing. I have never used it as an outlet or a means of expressing myself. I just dance. I just put my feet in the air and move them around.

Fred Astaire

I just put my feet in the air and move them around.

Fred Astaire

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

Fred Astaire

The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style.

Fred Astaire

This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.

Fred Astaire