Cousin Elly, a blonde, is the world's worst at getting instructions mixed up.
When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.
It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked;
how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later Elly was back in the store
and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
"Wonderful!" she replied,
"However, there's one thing I don't understand.
Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
Today's Pic Dump
Funny Headlines from the Newspaper
Today in History
Cuban Missile Crisis, 1962
Peyton Randolph dies, 1775
President Lyndon Johnson signs the Highway Beautification Act, 1965
Confederates arrive at Guntersville, Alabama, 1864
Kennedy announces blockade of Cuba during the Missile Crisis, 1962
Pretty Boy Floyd is killed by the FBI, 1934
Coal mine explodes in New Mexico, 1913
The first parachutist, 1797
Gay sergeant challenges the Air Force, 1975
Jeff Goldblum born, 1952
Sartre wins and declines Nobel Prize, 1964
Pianist and composer Franz Liszt is born, 1811
Tom Horn is hanged in Wyoming for the murder of Willie Nickell, 1903
JFK announces a blockade of Cuba, 1962
Baseball Hall of Fame announcer Red Barber dies at 84, 1992
American forces suffer first casualties in Vietnam, 1957
173rd Airborne trooper saves comrades, 1965
President Thieu turns down peace proposal, 1972
World War I
Germans capture Langemarck during First Battle of Ypres, 1914
World War II
Allies confer secretly about Operation Torch, 1942
Annette Funicello(And Todays Birthday Girl)
I have always thought of Walt Disney as my second father.
I still don't know precisely why The Mickey Mouse Club ended when it did.
I'm saddened to see that some have been misled into believing that Mr. Disney was something other than a kind, caring man.
Mickey Mouse... is always there-he's part of my life. That really is something not everyone can call their claim to fame.
Most original viewers of the Mickey Mouse Club didn't face the crush of family and social problems children have today.
Mr. Disney and his staff were constantly scouting for great stories to bring to life on film.
Mr. Disney believed everyone was still a child deep inside.
Of all the roles I've played, none has been as fulfilling as being a mother.
The original Mickey Mouse Club, established in the '30s, was designed to attract children to movie theaters.