Memory Class

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

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Extra Office Work The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.

He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"

The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

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Cremate Me A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

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Finger Art

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Birthdays on December 29th

1947 - Ted Danson
1946 - Marianne Faithfull
1938 - Jon Voight
1937 - Mary Tyler Moore
1800 - Charles Goodyear

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Pic Dump

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Blast From the past
R*E*S*P*E*C*T

Todays Quote

Birthday Boy 

Ted Danson

How much do you engage yourself in what's truly real and important in life? That's the individual question.
Ted Danson

I don't think it's a matter of, do you win the game or not, it's how gracefully do you play it.
Ted Danson

I feel very strongly that you can't just beat people up anymore; you have to work hand in hand and find ways to compromise, and get big business involved, because it won't happen otherwise.
Ted Danson

I tell you, the difference for me is between being victimized, terrorized, numbed by reading about different disasters, or reducing the anxiety by getting up and doing something about it, at whatever level.
Ted Danson

If you actively do something, it will stop making you feel like a victim and you'll start feeling like part of the solution, which is just a huge benefit to your body and your psyche.
Ted Danson

If you take one rivet out of an airplane, it will be all right, it'll keep flying. You take another rivet out of the airplane and it still flies. So what the heck, let's take more rivets out of the airplane, and sooner or later, the airplane drops from the sky.
Ted Danson

One of the ingredients that made Cheers work so well was the great ensemble of actors we had. That's the case with any good series.
Ted Danson


The planet will survive. Whether we get to be here and enjoy it, or enjoy life as we've known it, is what's questionable.
Ted Danson

The pressure isn't on my brain, but on my mouth. I realized Sam Malone said very little, he spoke in little sentences. Which is much more comfortable for me for some reason.
Ted Danson

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