One day, in Soviet Russia....
Before the fall of the Soviet Union, a Russian Jew applied to immigrate to Israel. The local Soviet commissar called him in for questioning and asked:
“Haven’t we allowed you the right to worship in your Synagogue?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Haven’t we let you live in peace with your fellow Jews?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Haven’t we allowed you to travel freely within and beyond the village?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Haven’t we allowed you to teach your children Torah?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Haven’t we let you practice your profession?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Then why do you want to go to Israel?”
He replies, “There I can complain!”
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Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Funny Cartoons
Millionaire Husband
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire"
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Birthdays on December 9th
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire"
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Birthdays on December 9th
Todays Quote
I don't want my album coming out with a 'G' rating. Nobody would buy it.
Donny Osmond
I never smile unless I mean it.
Donny Osmond
If you're climbing the ladder of life, you go rung by rung, one step at a time. Don't look too far up, set your goals high but take one step at a time. Sometimes you don't think you're progressing until you step back and see how high you've really gone.
Donny Osmond
My father instilled in me the attitude of prevailing. If there's a challenge, go for it. If there's a wall to break down, break it down.
Donny Osmond
Success sometimes can really bite you in the shorts.
Donny Osmond
You have to believe in yourself, otherwise you can't do it. If you don't believe in yourself, how do expect anyone else to? Because ultimately, you're the one who has to do it.
Donny Osmond
Donny Osmond
I never smile unless I mean it.
Donny Osmond
If you're climbing the ladder of life, you go rung by rung, one step at a time. Don't look too far up, set your goals high but take one step at a time. Sometimes you don't think you're progressing until you step back and see how high you've really gone.
Donny Osmond
My father instilled in me the attitude of prevailing. If there's a challenge, go for it. If there's a wall to break down, break it down.
Donny Osmond
Success sometimes can really bite you in the shorts.
Donny Osmond
You have to believe in yourself, otherwise you can't do it. If you don't believe in yourself, how do expect anyone else to? Because ultimately, you're the one who has to do it.
Donny Osmond
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