Monday, July 2, 2012

Grin and Bear it

 I was in the  six item  express lane at the store quietly  fuming.
Completely  ignoring the  sign, the woman ahead of me had
 slipped into the check-out  line  pushing a cart piled high with
 groceries. Imagine my delight   when the cashier beckoned the woman to
 come forward looked into  the cart  and asked sweetly, "So which six
 items would you like  to  buy?"

 Wouldn't it be great if that  happened more often?

   Because  they had no  reservations at a busy restaurant,
 my elderly neighbor and  his  wife were told there would be a
 45-minute wait for a table.
        "Young  man, we're both 90  years old," the husband said. "We
 may not have 45   minutes."
 They  were seated  immediately.

 The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that  they
 would "hate" to have to make a living under the laws  they've passed.
 Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs  should relax
 and get used to the idea.

      Three  friends from the  local congregation were asked,
 "When you're in your  casket, and  friends and congregation members
 are mourning over you,  what  would you like them to say?"
 Artie  said, "I would like  them to say I was a wonderful
 husband, a fine  spiritual leader,  and a great family man."

 Eugene commented, "I  would like  them to say I was a wonderful
 teacher and servant of God  who  made a huge difference in people's

 Al said,   "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"
 Smith  climbs  to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
 Looking up,  he  asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to   you?"
        The Lord  replies,  "A minute."
        Smith asks,  "And  what does a million dollars mean to you?"
        The Lord  replies,  "A penny."
        Smith asks,  "Can  I have a penny?"
        The Lord  replies,  "In a minute."
 John was on his   deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last
 request, dear,"  he  said.
        "Of  course, John," his wife  said softly.
        "Six  months after I die," he  said, "I want you to marry  Bob."
        "But  I thought you hated  Bob," she said..
        With  his last breath John  said, "I do!"

   A man goes to  see  the Rabbi. '
        "Rabbi,  something  terrible is happening and I have to talk  to you about  it."
         The Rabbi  asked,  "What's wrong?"
        The man  replied,  "My wife is poisoning me.
        The Rabbi,  very  surprised by this, asks, "How can that  be?"
        The man  then  pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
         poisoning   me, what should  I  do?"
        The Rabbi  then  offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her,
 I'll see what I can   find out and I'll let you know."
      A week later  the  Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to
     her on the  phone for three hours. You want my  advice?
     The man  said,  "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the  poison."
Morning Pic Dump

Birthdays on July 2nd

Todays Pic Dump


Blast from the Past

Afternoon Funnies

Todays Quote

 Birthday Boy
Dave Thomas

I think the harder you work, the more luck you have.
Dave Thomas

If there are things you don't like in the world you grew up in, make your own life different.
Dave Thomas

In the beginning there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Dave Thomas

It all comes back to the basics. Serve customers the best-tasting food at a good value in a clean, comfortable restaurant, and they'll keep coming back.
Dave Thomas

It was the closest to purgatory that I've ever experienced while I've been living.
Dave Thomas

The anger that appears to be building up between the sexes becomes more virulent with every day that passes. And far from women taking the blame... the fact is that men are invariably portrayed as the bad guys. Being a good man is like being a good Nazi.
Dave Thomas

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There's no one to stop you but yourself.
Dave Thomas

What people forget is that every movie that gets made keeps making money for somebody FOREVER.
Dave Thomas

You can do what you want to do. You can be what you want to be.
Dave Thomas

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