HODGE PODGE

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* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you 

die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different 

creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. 

I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said 

to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill 

to get all of her clothes back.

*  The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if 

we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said 

we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
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Just wanted to let you know, today I received my
2012 Social Security Stimulus Package.

It contained two tomato seeds,
cornbread mix,
a prayer rug,
2 discount coupons to KFC,
an "Obama Hope & Change" bumper sticker,
and a "Blame it on Bush"poster for the front yard.
The directions were in Spanish.

Watch for yours, coming soon.

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Original Chinese Proverb:

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach
a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
New Proverb:
Give a man a welfare check, a cell phone, cash for his
clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, Medicaid, 100 weeks of
unemployment checks, a 40-ounce malt liquor, needles, drugs,
contraceptives, and designer Air Jordan shoes and
he will vote Democrat for a lifetime

 

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Morning Pic Dump

 

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Birthdays on July 30th

1974 - Hilary Swank
1963 - Lisa Kudrow
1961 - Laurence Fishburne
1947 - Arnold Schwarzenegger
1939 - Peter Bogdanovich

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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Todays Quote

Birthday Girl

HilarySwank

 

Few people know this about me, but I love baking pies.
Hilary Swank

Growing up in a lower-income family, you don't have the resources to make ends meet and you have to find creative ways to get by.
Hilary Swank

I can remember crying on the set of Beverly Hills 90210 after being released from the show a few years ago.
Hilary Swank

I don't know what I did in this life to deserve all of this. I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream.
Hilary Swank

I don't think people should have boundaries put on them, by themselves or society or another gender, because it's our birthright to experience life in whatever way we feel best suits us.
Hilary Swank

I grew up in a trailer park in Bellingham, Washington.
Hilary Swank

I had teachers who I could tell didn't want to be there. And I just couldn't get inspired by someone who didn't want to be there.
Hilary Swank

I had to fight my whole life to break out of my circumstances. That's just part of my makeup.
Hilary Swank

I had to fight my whole life to break out.
Hilary Swank

I haven't tucked a sock in my pants for three years.
Hilary Swank

I like to play women who blaze trails.
Hilary Swank

I love to travel. I'm a curious person.
Hilary Swank

I really chase the things that I want.
Hilary Swank

I think about how I'm spending my money, and I like to spend on my family.
Hilary Swank

I think that we're all continually searching for who we are, and that's ever-evolving and changing.
Hilary Swank

I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
Hilary Swank

I'm certainly not very book smart, but I started traveling at 16, and it has enriched me in ways I could never begin to explain.
Hilary Swank

It's a quality of my life that I wouldn't change for the world, having grown up with such a humble background.
Hilary Swank

It's how you look at beauty. Is it only an outward appearance with hair and makeup and a hot body, or is it something deeper than that?
Hilary Swank

Learning how to fly, for me, was so euphoric.
Hilary Swank

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