Dangerous Blonde with a Gun
A blonde buys a handgun at a local pawn shop because she thinks her husband is cheating on her. When she gets home, she finds her husband in bed with a woman.
The Blonde grabs the gun out of her purse, loads it and points it at her own head.
Her husband seeing this starts screaming at her not to Shoot.
The blonde replies “Shut up stupid! You’re next!”
Speaking of Blondes
Blonde 2011 Year In Review......
January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…HELLOOO!…bottles won’t fit in printer.
March – Got really excited…finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months….box said “2 – 4 years”
April – Trapped on escalator for hours…power went out.
May- Tried to make Kool-Aid – wrong instructions… 8 cups of water won’t fit into that little packet.
June- Tried to go water skiing – couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July – Lost breast stoke swimming competition…learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm…car swamped because soft-top was open.
September- The capital of California is “C”, isn’t it?
October- Hate M&M’s – they are so hard to peel.
November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December – Couldn’t dial 911- duh – there’s no eleven on the stupid phone.
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Blonde Star
Blonde Star
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season pass?”
Food fights are only fun until someone starts leaking sauce
The next worst thing to leaving the seat up
Aim High and You’ll Get Nowhere
2011 Occupy
What A Lovely Family!
Here's to all of those
funny english translations....
Birthdays on January 6th
Danny Pintauro Actor 1976
Rowan Atkinson Comedian1956
Nancy Lopez Athlete 1957
Lou Holtz Coach 1937
Loretta Young Actress 1913
Blast from the Past
ToTo
Africa
ToTo
Africa
Pic Dump
Todays Quote
Birthday Boy
Rowan Atkinson
And what's interesting about him as a comic character is that the custard pie hardly ever ends up on his face. Rowan Atkinson And, we put a lot more value, or at least I personally put a lot more value, on the creative values and creative challenges of something than the commercial necessities. Rowan Atkinson But generally speaking, I tend to be quiet and introspective. Rowan Atkinson Get that right, then- if you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your ability to earn money or whatever, will follow naturally. But try to be creatively lead rather than market lead. And that's important to me. Rowan Atkinson I don't much enjoy Back and Forth. I mean, I think it has its own particular qualities, but I think it's inferior to any of the half-hour ones we did. Rowan Atkinson I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Bean's life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to. Rowan Atkinson I mean I can do it when I'm very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing. Rowan Atkinson I think the character does tend to suit an episodic thing, because what's fun about him is that he doesn't care about anyone else, and it's very difficult for a main character - a lead character - in a movie to not care about anybody else. Rowan Atkinson I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination. Rowan Atkinson I would return to the Blackadder character if the opportunity came up. I have no qualms about that at all. Rowan Atkinson In TV, and in particular in commercials, you don't really need to explain very much at all - you just say he's a spy and he's a little bit theatrical and overblown and smug and he's not very good at his job. Rowan Atkinson It's the difficulty we had with Mr. Bean, actually, when it went from TV to film. You certainly discover that you need to explain more about a character. Rowan Atkinson Marketing is what gets you noticed, and that side of it something - this side of it, if you like, doing interviews - is the side of it that I least enjoy, and yet is 50% of the project. Rowan Atkinson Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to be this jewel, this sort of two headed tradition of doing comedy, of doing sketches, and that kind of thing. Rowan Atkinson No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12. Rowan Atkinson Not so much in Canada, but certainly in the US, as I'm sure you know, money is all, and if they can get another 26 programs of the same thing even though it advances the culture or those actor's careers not at all it doesn't matter. Rowan Atkinson Of course, some would say if you have a performing inclination, then you should become a lawyer. That's a platform we use, or a priest. You know, anywhere you lecture and pontificate to people. Rowan Atkinson We still have a tradition certainly in English television; it's faded a bit in the last five years, but we still have a tradition where the important thing is the quality and the challenging nature of the programming. Rowan Atkinson When I was doing Bean more than I've done him in the last few years, I did strange things - like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean. Rowan Atkinson You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. Rowan Atkinson |
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