Thursday, January 12, 2012



Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes you think.

4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.

7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.

9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

11. Not have eight children at once.

12. Get in a whole NEW rut!

13. Start being superstitious.

14. Personal goal: bring back disco.

15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura.

16. Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.

17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.

18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.

19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.

20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

22. Not eat cloned meat.

23. Create loose ends.

24. Get more toys.

25. Get further in debt.

26. Not believe politicians.

27. Break at least one traffic law.

28. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.

30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

31. Stay off the MIR space station.

32. Not worry that the Y2K bug will cause the end of the world.

33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.

34. Not swim with piranhas or sharks.

35. Associate with even worse business clients.

36. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

37. Wait around for opportunity.

38. Focus on the faults of others.

39. Mope about my faults.

40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.


Pic Dump


Here is something new. What happened the year you were born? 

Click on the link and put in your birth year


But does she sing like Barbra?

Blast from the Past
John Mellencamp
Jack and Diane

Todays Quote
I'm going to split it between
Rush Limbaugh
Howard Stern

1 - 2 - 3

After the Republican Party did everything that Colin Powell says it needs to do to grow, and nominated the very kind of candidate he wanted in 2008, what did Powell do? He endorsed Obama! So according to the Drive-Bys and David Gergen, Republicans should let somebody who campaigned and voted for Obama, tell us how to build our party.
Rush Limbaugh

Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't. In both cases we have to DO something.
Rush Limbaugh

Character matters; leadership descends from character.
Rush Limbaugh

Compassion is no substitute for justice.
Rush Limbaugh

Did you know that the White House drug test is multiple choice?
Rush Limbaugh

Enraging liberals is simply one of the more enjoyable side effects of my wisdom.
Rush Limbaugh

Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.
Rush Limbaugh

Folks, the most insidious part of this whole health care scheme is that all of these vast medical expenditures will become nothing more than government budget items. We individuals will no longer exist. The relationship between a government and citizen will change forever.
Rush Limbaugh

Football is like life and I know life.
Rush Limbaugh

Government stimulates the democrat party.
Rush Limbaugh

I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe.
Howard Stern

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock.
Howard Stern

It's no treat being in bed with me.
Howard Stern

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.
Howard Stern

My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.
Howard Stern

Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things.
Howard Stern

'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.
Howard Stern

There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won't you do. I say, well, you know, you've got to find out when you're on the air.
Howard Stern

We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel.
Howard Stern

Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.
Howard Stern

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