DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week!
THE MANAGEMENT
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Pic Dump
1971 - Mary J. Blige
1960 - Stanley Tucci
1929 - Rod Taylor
1885 - Alice Paul
1755 - Alexander Hamilton
1960 - Stanley Tucci
1929 - Rod Taylor
1885 - Alice Paul
1755 - Alexander Hamilton
Motivational Pics?
Cartoon Stuff
Todays Quote
Birthday Boy
Alexander Hamilton
A promise must never be broken.
Alexander Hamilton
A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Alexander Hamilton
Constitutions should consist only of general provisions; the reason is that they must necessarily be permanent, and that they cannot calculate for the possible change of things.
Alexander Hamilton
Even to observe neutrality you must have a strong government.
Alexander Hamilton
Here, sir, the people govern; here they act by their immediate representatives.
Alexander Hamilton
I never expect to see a perfect work from an imperfect man.
Alexander Hamilton
I think the first duty of society is justice.
Alexander Hamilton
In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men the great difficulty lies in this: You must first enable the government to control the governed, and in the next place, oblige it to control itself.
Alexander Hamilton
In politics, as in religion, it is equally absurd to aim at making proselytes by fire and sword. Heresies in either can rarely be cured by persecution.
Alexander Hamilton
In the general course of human nature, A power over a man's subsistence amounts to a power over his will.
Alexander Hamilton
In the main it will be found that a power over a man's support (salary) is a power over his will.
Alexander Hamilton
In the usual progress of things, the necessities of a nation in every stage of its existence will be found at least equal to its resources.
Alexander Hamilton
It is the advertiser who provides the paper for the subscriber. It is not to be disputed, that the publisher of a newspaper in this country, without a very exhaustive advertising support, would receive less reward for his labor than the humblest mechanic.
Alexander Hamilton
It's not tyranny we desire; it's a just, limited, federal government.
Alexander Hamilton
Learn to think continentally.
Alexander Hamilton
Man is a reasoning rather than a reasonable animal.
Alexander Hamilton
Men often oppose a thing merely because they have had no agency in planning it, or because it may have been planned by those whom they dislike.
Alexander Hamilton
Nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty.
Alexander Hamilton
Power over a man's subsistence is power over his will.
Alexander Hamilton
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