Old Guys Rule: Life Explained

Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

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Pic Dump

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Birthdays on January 24th

1949 - John Belushi
1943 - Sharon Tate
1941 - Neil Diamond
1917 - Ernest Borgnine
1862 - Edith Wharton

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Blast from the Past

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Todays Quote

Birthday Boy Neil Diamond

1 - 2

Because my musical training has been limited, I've never been restricted by what technical musicians might call a song.
Neil Diamond

Brooklyn is not the easiest place to grow up in, although I wouldn't change that experience for anything.
Neil Diamond

Chelsea Morning is a great Joni Mitchell song and I guess I'm partial to her lyrics because they show me a slightly different perspective on life.
Neil Diamond

I came back to performing with a different attitude about performing and myself. I wasn't expecting perfection any more, just hoping for an occasional inspiration.
Neil Diamond

I don't like all of the music to be serious and deadly.
Neil Diamond

I still need practice in enjoying the fruits of success.
Neil Diamond

I think probably Australians have just a little more taste than most people.
Neil Diamond

I'm lucky. Hard work is the key, but luck plays a part.
Neil Diamond

I've always thought of music as something which gives the words their flight and their wings and the music often comes first, although sometimes I'll have a concept, a title idea, a lyric idea that I want to write and the lyric will come first.
Neil Diamond

I've looked at photographs of myself during concerts and it sometimes looks as if I'm in a fencing move, with a guitar in my hands instead of a sword.
Neil Diamond

If it can affect me, if it has meaning to me, if I feel I can do it well, I will do it and record it and thats why I recorded these songs.
Neil Diamond

It's very difficult for me to say 'I love you' but to sing 'I love you' for me is easier.
Neil Diamond

No, I majored in biology, in a pre-med program.
Neil Diamond

Performing is the easiest part of what I do, and songwriting is the hardest.
Neil Diamond

Song Sung Blue took a lot of compressing and refining, and it has one of my favorite lyrics.
Neil Diamond

Songs are life in 80 words or less.
Neil Diamond

Songwriting is different from music, although I don't deny now that it would be nice to have a little more background in music theory.
Neil Diamond

Songwritng is what I do.
Neil Diamond

The main objective in any song, the songs that I write, has always been that it reflect the way I feel, that it touch me when I'm finished with it, that it moves me, that it can take me along with it and involve me in what its saying.
Neil Diamond

There's a mystery to writing, and you don't really know where most of it comes from.
Neil Diamond